THE OFFICIAL RULES AND REGULATIONS OF LOS BASTARDOS:

Be advised that you are responsible for reading, knowing, and obeying ALL of the rules. “I didn’t know!” is NEVER a valid excuse for breaking a rule. They are all here, and you will be held accountable for your actions.

For the past 30 years, The Rocky Horror Picture Show has brought delight, weirdness, and excitement to multitudes of people. Every year it gains more followers due to the fact that it is so much fun. Part of the reason it is fun is because it is successful, and Los Bastardos and many other casts throw their all into Rocky to keep it that way. We work hard, we maintain our dignity, and most importantly, we have respect. If you think that you can handle being a mature, hardworking asset to Los Bastardos, then please read on. If you thought this show was all play and no work, then I am sorry, we cannot accommodate you.

Thank you for your interest in our cast.

1. NEW CAST MEMBERS. Your audition will be to spend a probationary period of at least one month with the cast. Your acceptance or rejection will be based upon how well you are picking up the part, how well you are getting along with the cast, and whether or not they feel you would be an asset to our cast. You will join as either Tech or Transie. If you are trying to join just so you may step into a core role, you are just setting yourself up for disappointment, and it will simply lead to unhappiness on cast. To be blunt, the people on cast doing core roles have been here quite a while, and chances of them leaving are slim. However, should you choose to join cast as Tech/Transie, and once I am satisfied with your performance on that part, you may begin to understudy another part of your choice if you wish. This in no way means that you will immediately get to play the part.
   Here are the requirements for joining Los Bastardos:
   1. You MUST be AT LEAST 18 years old to perform.
   2. You MUST have reliable transportation. Reliable transportation does NOT include “getting rides” every week from someone already on cast or someone anticipating being on cast. You are responsible for your OWN transportation and if you do not have a vehicle of your own, current cast is in NO way obligated to give you a ride. Do not ask them, it is not their responsibility.
   3. If you live with parents, grandparents, etc., there may not be any interference. As in, getting “grounded” from Rocky or having to clean your room is not an acceptable excuse.
   4. You must take direction, and be responsible for your own actions.
   5. You must be able to attend rehearsals on Friday nights and shows on Saturday nights.
   6. You must be cordial with the other cast members and with the audience.
   7. You must be willing to work on your part outside of rehearsals and showtimes, to help advertise, and commit to other cast functions.
   8. You may not have any medical conditions that would prevent you from performing safely.
2. ATTENDANCE. Attendance is simple. You must commit every Friday and Saturday night. If you are going to miss a show, I need to know either by phone, email, or in person WELL AHEAD OF TIME. Well in advance is not the day of or the day before the show. Advance warning is a simple courtesy so that we can fill your part for that evening or make other arrangements. Two times of flaking out and you will be suspended.
3. PUNCTUALITY. Please be on time. I cannot stress this enough: PLEASE BE ON TIME! If you are going to be late, please phone or email me ahead of time, so we know that you are not dead on the highway.
   Rehearsals on Friday and cast call for Saturday evenings are always at 11:00 p.m.. Cast is required to be ready to perform (in full costume and make-up) by no later than 11:15 p.m. on Saturdays.
4. CONTIRBUTION & VOLUNTEERING. Please contribute! If you have a relevant opinion about something, speak up! I want to hear new thoughts and ideas for the show, or things you think might be good for fundraising and etc. Volunteer to do things, such as taking fliers to new locations, or helping make prop packs even if you aren’t asked to. It is all part of being on cast.
5. COMMITTING TO A TASK & UNPRODUCTIVITY. If you volunteer to do something, please follow through with it. If you aren’t willing to do the job (and do it right) do not bother. I do not like lame excuses for not finishing something you said that you would. Committing to the task also includes doing your assigned jobs during Pre-Show and Post-Show, which every bit as important as playing onstage or running lightboard. I should NEVER see anyone doing NOTHING during Pre-Show and Post-Show. I GET VERY ANGRY ABOUT THIS. If you are assigned to Prop Pack sales before the show, do it. If you are supposed to help clean up the theatre after the show, do it. If you are supposed to be on Tank Crew, then help with the Tank. It’s very simple. I do not appreciate those who slack off on their duties, and the rest of the castmates will not appreciate it either.
6. POLITICS. This is about me, to spell it out in all honesty. Despite what you might have heard, I am not a mean person. I do not play favorites. I am not vindictive. I lay down the rules, and will administer punishment if need be. I have the final say on everything. If you feel that my decision is unfair, we will discuss it privately. I make all of my decisions based on reasoning, not based on “who said what”, “who did what to whom”, or what someone else thinks will be the best decision. I am open to suggestion and willing and available to discuss ANYTHING at any time you feel the need to, cast related or not. I am a very straightforward and open person. If I have a problem with something, or with you, I will tell you. This is not me being cruel or jumping on you, this is me being honest about my thoughts and observances. I enjoy and respect every person and every person’s opinions on this cast very much. This cast is my family, and I treat all of you the same way I treat my family. PLEASE do not feel inhibited to talk to me. I will do anything in my power to help you and this cast succeed. Do not take me for granted, and DO NOT lie to me. I expect respect from you, as I will give you the same in return.
7. RESPECT. Have respect for each other and ESPECIALLY have respect for me as your director. Do not talk down to one another, do not act disrespectfully towards one another. I DON’T CARE if you dislike someone or have differing personal opinions, you are to be respectful to that person while you are on cast time, PERIOD. If you have a serious issue with someone/something, please talk to me. But please, have respect for one another. It is the adult thing to do.
8. DRAMA. Drama: fighting with other cast members or audience members, breaking rules just to cause problems (respect, drugs, etc), doing things to intentionally piss other people off, gossiping, stabbing other cast members in the back, trying to steal other cast members boyfriends/girlfriends (being a cast whore), getting involved in other peoples’ business, not doing your job, mocking or slandering other cast members, and countless other things I could list. Bottom line: do not start it. There is enough drama that goes on at Rocky outside of cast. Do not start it, do not participate in it.
9. PERSONAL SPACE. I know that Rocky is a place that is sexual in nature. This does not mean you have the right to feel up and rub all over other people. “Other people” includes audience members AND cast. Not all people are comfortable with other people touching them, and being around them all the time. Just because someone is at Rocky does not mean that they want someone to touch them (granted, I know there are exceptions). But, if someone tells you to stop, STOP! If it is obvious that you are making them uncomfortable, back up. If you are violating their personal space, discontinue to do so. People often will not tell you that, but on this cast you need to learn when people are alright with something and when they are not.
10. ATTITUDE. Do not act like an ass if you do not get your way. Do not whine and gripe about everything. If you have a legitimate problem that is perfectly fine. Please let me know and we will discuss it privately. There is no need to whine and/or gripe to everyone else (cast, audience) about “your problems” (cast related or not), and no need to be a jerk TO everyone because of it. It is unprofessional and also EXTREMELY irritating. This is especially applicable to cast meetings.
11. HYGIENE. Yes, I have to go there. Common sense of decency: please bathe before you come to rehearsal or the show. This means, clean body, hair, teeth, and clothing. Wear deodorant, as I will spray you down if you smell.
12. BE WHERE I CAN FIND YOU. I need to know an updated phone number and email address for you at all times. If I need you to ask you something or have a question to ask that might be important, I do not want to scramble around or have to call 10 people to locate your whereabouts or wait until Saturday night to find you. I also need to be able to locate you once at the theatre. Do not take a walk or go to the store without letting anyone know. If I need you for something specific and cannot find you, I will be irate once you are found.
13. ALCOHOL & DRUGS. I should not have to address this, but I will. DO NOT show up under the influence of anything. This will affect your performance (be it spotlight, prop pack seller or actor) and I will NOT tolerate stupidity. If I find that you are under the influence of anything and it is affecting your performance, then you will be suspended. If you wish to remain on this cast, DO NOT CHANCE IT. You will reflect badly upon this cast and our theatre, and I will NOT tolerate that.
14. COSTUMES & MAKEUP. Some pieces are cast owned, HOWEVER, you must have your own costume and makeup before you perform. This includes all full costume changes, from the correct color socks to sweaters, necklaces, corsets, fishnets, and especially SHOES. It looks unprofessional when pieces are missing, and especially tacky and unfinished with the wrong shoes or no shoes. Transies especially need an abundance of makeup, color, and accessories.
15. FLOORWALKERS & SCREAMERS. The only people that should be doing screamers are Floorwalkers, who are appointed by me. If I hear “hfunc jdslgfu eqzla” instead of lines I will ask you to cease until you have the timing or words properly. If I EVER catch anyone insulting the audience’s screamers (although you may not like them) then you will be in trouble. They come to the show to have fun, not to be insulted. This includes Pre-Show screamers as well.
16. TECH. If a Techie asks you to do something, please do it, and do it right then. They will not ask unless they need it. If I find out that one of them asked you to do something and you did not follow through with it when requested, GOD HELP YOU because I am still Head Tech!
17. TAKING LIBERTIES WITH YOUR CHARACTER. Before you even consider trying to do something different with your character, you should know it well enough to do it in your sleep. Be aware that if you do not know it completely and you try something new, if it does not go over well you just look like an idiot who doesn’t know their part. If it looks bad I will let you know.
18. AWAY SHOWS. Rules listed here plus any others I might have apply to away shows. Above all, be on your BEST behavior, and be on time.
19. CAST ONLY MEANS CAST ONLY. Only cast is allowed at rehearsals, cast meetings, and cast functions. Do not bring your friends or significant others, as they will only cause distraction. They are also in no way obligated to follow cast rules, yet they appear to represent us, which can lead to problems. Also, it is not in your best interest (meaning do not do it) to get sidetracked by other people that are not on cast. This means, do not try to act like hot shit and shirk your cast duties to impress girls/boys that you have an interest in while on cast time or hanging out with cast. It pisses the rest of the cast off and I will not put up with attitude or laziness.
20. SEX. Once again, I know that Rocky is a sexual show. However, there will be no sex on cast time, period. This means rehearsals, show times, or and other cast time. No sex on theatre property, period. Yes, this includes the parking lot.
21. ONLINE FORUMS. We have several online forums. They are a privilege, not a right. Please use them responsibly and be civil to each other. This means, do not slander other people (especially other cast members!) on the forums. We also have a private Cast Forum. DO NOT allow anyone else access to it. If you do, you will be banned.
22. GUESTS. You may have whomever you wish at the show, but they must pay to get in unless PERSONALLY “ok’d” by me. An example would be an old theatre manager.
23. PRE-SHOW. Do not interrupt Pre-Show unless pre-arranged. It takes long enough as it is.
24. CAST DUES. Everyone on cast pays $8 per month as cast dues, including me. You must pay cast dues while on cast, just like me and everyone else. They are due at the beginning of the month.
25. CHALLENGING ME WITH INTENT TO ARGUE. Do not do it. Do not start problems just because you can. Do not spit out a comeback or nasty comments for everything I say. Do not argue about something just for the sake of arguing about it. This is not the time or the place. This rule especially applies to cast meetings.
26. CAST MEETINGS. Cast meetings are after the show and cleanup on Saturday nights. ALL CAST must attend cast meetings. In the meeting, we discuss business and all other things that are important to our cast. This is not a time to whine about wanting to go home, how bored you are, how your ride is going to leave you, or how you have to get up early tomorrow. This is definitely not a time to pick fights with me because you didn’t get your way about something, or loudly complain that we need to “hurry up” because you have “important things” to take care of in the morning. It is also not the time to act like a child because I will not allow you to leave. To those of you that are guilty of those things I will say this: If you are whining or bored because you want to leave, go right ahead. Don’t expect to be on cast much longer. If your ride is going to leave, I would suggest finding another one. This goes along with “reliable transportation”. If they do this consistently, find another ride. Frankly, I don’t care who wants to leave. Those complaining about getting up early or having “important things” to do the next day make me think that this is a simple chore for you and that you (mistakenly) think you are doing us a “favor” by staying. You are either committed or not, and I find your thinking insulting to this cast. There are plenty of other people who work just as hard and I am certain that we could fill your shoes if you chose to leave. Honestly, griping is as far from a favor to us as possible. Do not pick fights or be childish or bitchy because it is disrespectful and pointless. It will simply irritate the rest of us and make the meetings even longer. Now, I do understand there are circumstances where you may have to leave early. If you let me know beforehand about something, that is much better than whining at me after the show because you want to go home. Don’t we all. I will have no sympathy unless you have serious issues. I will be keeping tabs on who is at the meeting and who is awake. STAY AWAKE. This is once a week. Please have respect for the cast and the director and pay attention. The sooner we all cooperate about this, the more quickly we can all go home.
27. INSULTING THE AUDIENCE OR OTHER THEATRE PATRONS. What this does: Turns our fans away, turns non-Rocky people into instant Rocky-hating people, and gets me chewed out by management for your ignorant and careless behavior and / or words. In other words, we all get into trouble and it reflects very badly upon us in a business sense. I do not care id the other person(s) said something rude to you or about our show. Just tell them that you are sorry that they feel that way and leave it alone. There is no need to argue over differing tastes, and especially no need to lose a theatre’s respect because of something stupid that you said or did.
28. NON-ROCKY PATRONS. You have to understand that the theatre has other people that come to see shows around the same time that Rocky goes on. This does NOT mean that it is YOUR time to go and parade around the “normal” people and scare them. Most people that are not there to buy a ticket for Rocky Horror do NOT want to see a cast stripping in the lobby, young men wandering around in their lingerie, or doing things intentionally to gain attention. This is not your personal time to get anyone and everyone to stare at you so you can feel popular and special. I have no room on this cast for people who are attention whores. Non-Rocky patrons are typically unnerved by some of us, so do not irritate them or get into their space. If you need to get dressed, do so in a bathroom stall or other appropriate place, NOT in the lobby. We are here to irritate others, we are here to perform our show and male money for the theatre. If the non-Rocky patrons (especially the older people) are unnerved by you, be courteous and remember that they, like our own patrons, are the theatre’s patrons also. We want to show people that we are neither bad nor distasteful, but a professional organization with a job to do, just like any other. Our job is to get people in the door and keep them coming back. “Scaring away” or irritating other patrons of our theatre lessens not only the theatre’s profits but it makes us look bad also. So, be advised, use care when around non-Rocky patrons. Above all be courteous.
29. CAST DISAGREEMENTS. If you have differing opinions or issues to discuss with another cast member, it does NOT need to occur in front of the audience OR the theatre staff. There are always people around and NONE of them need to hear the cast argue over anything, whether it be petty or of actually importance. In the theatre, in front of patrons or theatre staff is not the place to argue about things. Don’t be childish. Calm down, act like an adult, and take it elsewhere.
30. LOBBY BEHAVIOR. Stay clear of pathways outside the theatres, period. Patrons and theatre staff must have a way to get through to all areas of the theatre. Find other areas to congregate that are not in the way of patrons or the theatre staff. Do not act like idiots in the lobby, meaning do not cause disruptions or get into trouble. Do not discuss cast business with non-cast. Keep your personal items close to you and out of the way of others, and be sure to take your personal items into the theatre. Keep the audience out of the aisles and pathways, and out of pathways as well. If you have to explain why we need to keep clear to patrons, be polite and respectful. Honor theatre and police requests as well.
31. OTHER RULES. Yes, I have to put this too. Just because it is not officially a rule does not mean that you cannot get punished if you do something stupid. Please use your discretion and be professional. Think before you do things, and it will not be a problem. :)
32. PUNISHMENTS. Punishment will be determinable by the severity of the action(s). I am not a mean person and do not want to even address this issue, but be aware that if you break a rule, you will be dealt with accordingly.