Gwen's Corner

Drag Show. What a hoot. No, not the kind that involve cars. The kind that involve cross...dressing? Waitaminute. Don't we do that already? Every weekend? Hmmm...that's a thought to ponder. But, regardless, we had our Super Spectacular Drag Show this weekend! I would like to begin by saying my boys on cast sometimes scare me. So you know how it's a kind of Bastard tradition where we have our mini-dance party pre-show? And some of our hottest girls dance on the block and what not? Yea okay. Let's say Halo, Amy, Emily and Leah. Little clothing, writhing away, looking hot (maybe making out) Okay. Good. Have that image nicely in your head? Exchange them for Marc, Squid, Josh and Twitch. In drag. Awwww...did your happy fantasy turn sad? So anywho. The cast got together and did a little thing to the song Calender Girls. Where the girls were boys and the boys were girls. Mike was my bride to be. Twitch was dressed as a sexy Miss Claus (he was December). Danny was, as he put it, Pocahontas. *sigh* But the best was Preston. The month of July is a verse about being on the beach. Well that was Jennifer and Preston's month. Let's just say it involved a beach ball and Preston bringing his pink fur bikini from the Wannabe show out of retirement. I hadn't been so amused in such a very long time. So fastforward to Virgin Games. There was nothing truly remarkable about them, but something of note. One of the guys (who looked like a girl) was wearing a kilt CORRECTLY. Think about that a moment. Okay. Good. So Daniel opted to do start your engines. Now, he was warned about Kilt-Boy. So no dropping of drawers. Hooray. However, our boys (dressed as girls) we the engine starters. Poor Fishy.

Show time! Hooray show! I'll give you a quick run-through of who was who.

Frank - Eris
Janet - Wes
Brad - Gillian
Riff - Amy
Magenta - Charles
Columbia - Eric
Rocky - Emily
Eddie - Mary
Dr. Scott - Donna
Crimmie - ME!!! (Shannon) mwahaha..ha...ha.

Transies - People not main cast. (I suck. I don't remember who all transied and for some reason I can't locate my program from that night. And instead of feeling bad and accidently forgetting to list someone...I'm not listing anyone. HA!!!!) Though, seriously, they did a wonderful job. I just don't remember who all did it. I can tell you who didn't if that'll narrow it down. Bizah, Saturn, Danny, Bobcat, Robert, and Jennifer. And I know that Halo, Josh, Squid, JJ (who went home sick, so loves the JJ next time you see her) Gay Mike, Cecilie, Tora, Sarah Beth, Casey? Maybe? Katie (she was dressed as a former cast member, Mikey. I l loves the Mikey), Fish (I know he did cause he wanted to be a tree really bad and smack Wes)...uhm...and I'm spent. If I forgot someone I apologize, but I'm stupid so it's forgivable.

ANYWHO. So opening dance itself was amusing to me. Simply because it went tall person, very short person, tall person, very short person. Our girls playing core roles were three of the shortest people on cast (Emily, Gillian, and Amy). The Ralph fought with the Brad. Wes trying to walk in heels (and not fall) kind of reminds me of an epileptic Chicken. He was also wearing a Goldilocks wig. It was kinda scary looking. He is a walking stick. Amy wore Glenn's skullet wig for Riff. *sob* No sexy Riff for us. It was creepy "It's Pat with a Skullet" Riff. Charles didn't shave his facial hair, so Maggie was...yea. And! He was wearing Bizah's first Maggie dress. The one that goes "TWIRL!!!" It was happy. After Damnit, Janet Wes tackled Gillian. Gillian spent most of Damnit, Janet looking disgusted by her Janet. I was amused.

My first scene. Nothing spectactular. I'm the worse Crimmie ever. I don't know why Leah cast me. Blah blah blah. Uhm...I need to learn my lines. Okay. I'm lying. So sue me. Leah made me break character. And it wasn't even for the reason anyone watching would've assumed. She was on her knees, playing with my clothes, and all anyone knows is I started laughing. The reason? "You smell nice Shannon. Like fabric softener!" Yes. Eau du Snuggles. So, yes that made me giggle a bit. Saturn was standing next to us and was like "buh?" He also tried to lose Halo's phone. So the "Mad Saturn Dash" was amusing. But he found it so all is well.

Car scene. Same old. Daniel hurt himself somehow. He was doing the camerman schtick behind the "car" and afterwards he went walking by and I heard him muttering "Ok. That was stupid..." Or something. It looked to me like the transies were hitting the Janet harder than normal with the trees. Haha. Wes doesn't make a pretty girl. Gillian is an awesome Brad. Door scene went off without a hitch. Start of Time Warp. Wheeee! Nothing of note. It was business as usual really. Everyone knows what they're doing. Eric is SO tall. And thin. Like Jake Skellington thin. I (during auditions for Drag Show) was practicing the lift with him (in case I got Eddie) and I could've done it if his legs weren't so freaking LONG. Bleh. Anywho! Loves the Eric. He's a sweetie. So Sweet T. I bit someone. I don't know who. When Frank goes over and shakes hands with people, some of the boys were climbing on me trying to get their hands shook...Bastards. I was there first. Anyways, someone's arm ended up in my face...so I bit them. Tasted like boy. Heh. Fast forward to undressing. Amy forgot to head over to undress Janet, so Eric started it and then she came over. Undressy. Tank! Emily is awesome. As far as I can recall she is the only girl Rocky brave enough to stand on the tank. The others just sat "sexily." Leah might have when she played Rocky, but I don't remember. While they were taking off the wraps a couple of the boys and girls who have ever played Magenta called no fair. Leah helped Charles take off the wraps cause he couldn't get it. She never helped any of us...pfft. Anywho. Chasey chasey...man-y man-y. Eddie!

Mary was so down after the show (she's a whiney butt sometimes. I live with her. I can say that). But all the rest of the weekend I heard "I fucked it up...Leah's gonna hate me. I'll never play a core role again...wah." Someone, who was at the show and saw her play Eddie, smack her for me? Yes, she made little mistakes...okay...she forgot the first big spinny thing and was a little late on cues...BUT...all in all, she did great. And I was amused by the lift with the monkey. YAY monkey. Saturn blew the monkey up. Oh yea. So death for Eddie. Gillian threatens to beat Wes with the saxamaphone. Bedroom scenes. For some reason I can not, for the life of me, recall these scenes. AT ALL. It's like one big chunk of didn't happen. Tank scene! Emily did a strip tease and Charles and Eric made out. I saw Bizah over by Lesbian scene hurriedly taking out her camera. There was happiness somewhere for everyone. When Frank discovers the group in the tank, she took the money Emily earned! What a bitch! DONNA!!!! They played Turning Japanese when she came down the aisle in the wheelchair. Josh was dressed like a rickshaw driver, complete with straw pointy hat. It was amusing. When she got frozen Saturn, Mike, and I tried to see if we could make her break character. She flipped us off. HA. Okay. So I accidently stabbed Mike in the chest with a Fluer d'lis. Oops. Floorshow! Everyone was out, and lined up, ON TIME...including WES. Saturn and I were impressed. People die. They sing. End of movie. Hooray!

Couple of announcements. Our next theme show is October 13th. This will be our Alice in Wonderland Show. Lots of head trippyness is planned. Ya'll should be there. Also, it is Halloween Season. Keep your eyes peeled and ears open for Non-Theatre appearences of the Bastards. We'll be out and about the Metroplex for different shows. November (our Anniversary show) we're doing a Sci-Fi show. Oh, the happiness involved there. I've been listening to what some of the cast is planning and it'll be great. Leah says that we are recruiting for cast. So if you'd like to give us your soul and weekends see her (or Starman) after shows, or just email them. They don't bite. Unless you ask of course. And on that note...I'm outta here.