Gwen's Corner

FRANK Wes
JANET Limey
BRAD Danny
RIFF Shannon
MAGENTA Jenn
COLUMBIA Amy
DR. SCOTT Starman
ROCKY Josh
EDDIE Cody
CRIMMIE Eris
TRANSIES Marc, Kate, David, JJ, Tora, Sara Beth, Jackie, Squid, Donna, Pete and Emily
TECH,PROPS & SECURITY Scott, Mary, Preston, Glenn, James, Danny and Cody
SOUND Animal
FLOORWALKERS Animal, Cody, Daniel, Glenn and Starman
Why do I always forget when I'm supposed to write the show report? Seriously. It never happens on a night when I'm actually paying attention to the show! Or at least, paying attention to the insane degree that other show reporters do whenever they report on these things.
Okay. Here's what I do remember, in my sleep-addled brain.
We had a HUGE number of Virgins at the show last night. We had a group of teenagers celebrating a 17th birthday party who showed up in a limo and took up an entire row. We had another group, which I don't think had any virgins at all in it, of various weirdos in wigs. No, not our Transies! This group was in the audience.
Daniel was in charge of the Virgin Games and revived a new favorite - a contest to see how much juice a person could suck out of very phallic baby bottle (which is, incidentally, pressed against the crotch of a Bastard) in a limited ammount of time. Technically, this slutty redhead won, but Daniel declared the other female virgin the winner because while she didn't suck down as much of Daniel's Magic Juice (TM), she did somehow manage to bang Bizah's clit while she was... performing.
Wes was playing FRANK and don't think for a moment that the usual abuse we heap upon that poor sucker let up for a moment. Indeed, Cody very nearly took Wes out of commission with a low tackle during the floorshow. Nice job, Jock-boy!
Limey was JANET, which is always a good thing. Her hair was arranged in a very nice way and she managed to get the audience a peek of Leah boobs during the Tank Scene. So good job!
Danny was BRAD. I've got nothing to say except that I would like to apologize to him for having the unenviable task of having to push my fat ass up-hill at the end of the show.
Shannon was RIFF. She kept poking me in the dick with her Anti-Matter Laser, which really didn't feel good after Wes - jackass that he is - actually stepped on my poor John Thomas when I made my entrance as Doctor Scott.
MAGENTA was played by JEN. You know, all of our actors bring something special to each role they play and JEN does a very good job of bringing out the anger and annoyance that is an integral part of Magenta's character. Or maybe she just always looks pissed off?
COLUMBIA was played by AMY and thank all the various gods who might be reading this for her short attention span. Because I fucked up reading the list of who did what part during the closing credits (I'm dyslexic and my eye wandered down a line too soon) and read my name when she was supposed to be walking across stage. Of course she forgot about it by the time I found her after the show to apologize so... yay me! But she is a very good Columbia and it was thoughtless of me to do that, even if it was totally accidental. Sorry, Amy.
I played DOCTOR SCOTT. Really not a lot else needs to be said about that, save that I too - accidentally, almost took out an audience member and Wes thanks to the shoddy steering and bad breaks on my wheelchair.
Josh played ROCKY, and I have to wonder why. I much prefer it when we have a hot girl in a gold bikini playing the part. Come to think of it, I prefer it when we have hot girls playing any of the parts. Still, if we have to have a man play the titular (ha-ha-ha!) character, I suppose Josh did a good job. Better than Drake would have, anyway.
Cody played EDDIE. This man did it all last night. He was a grip. He was a floorwalker. He was an actor. And he tortured Wes. All very important and vital roles in a regular performance.
Eris was THE CRIMINOLOGIST and she got to spend the better part of the night being molested by Bizah. Lucky Eris! She didn't seem to enjoy it, but I know several people who would pay good money for that kind of thing.
What can I say about THE TRANSIES? Well, they have the most thankless job on the whole cast. I say this because they have to be actors AND props AND scenery. You may think they just stand in the back with their face painted all weird, but buddy - you're wrong. And I don't think any of us ever thank them for this thankless job. So Transies, thank you for doing what you're doing and know that now that I've thanked you once, yours is no longer a thankless job. So stop your bitching and get back to work holding up that damn globe!
And there's so many more people to thank. There's Animal who does the SOUND. Preston who does THE HEAVY LIFTING. Mary and Scott who run the SPOTLIGHTS. And James who... well, we're not sure just what he does most of the time but presumably he's doing something or he would have been fired by now.
And then there's my boys. The FLOORWALKERS. The guys who, when they aren't doing heavy lifting elsewhere, playing another part, running the sound or molesting the women in the short skirts that we know for sure are over 18... are standing out there, blocking your view, getting in the spotlight and causing virgins who REAAAAALY miss the point to shout "Please stop shouting! I'm trying to watch the movie and some of the things you are saying are quite disgusting..."
Yes, this DID actually happen to me. Why do you ask?
Ah well... I think that about wraps it up for this show report, except for me to say one more thing about next week.
The Science Fiction Theme Show is next week. Parts of this show have been in the works for nearly five years. If you do not come to this show, you will regret it. Seriously. I can't say any more because it's secret... but this will be a show to remember!