Gwen's Corner

So...here's the lineup, copied directly from the program:

Frank-N-Furter--Fishy
Janet--Halo
Brad--Saturn
Riff--Emo
Magenta--Emily
Columbia--Halo
Dr. Scott--Donna
Rocky--Wes
Eddie--Cody
The Criminologist--Charles

Transies: Fred, Eris, Marc, Pete, Amy, Scott, Squid, Twitch, Reah, Tora, Sara Beth, Kate, Chelcei, and Jackie, who likes pretty girls.

Tech, Sound, Props & Security: David (Bitch-face), Mary, Robert, Danny, Bizah, Madame Leah, Charles, and Danny

Floorwalkers: Starman Matt, Glenn, and Cody

Notice anything funny?

Sadly, Halo was not selected to play two parts. As entertaining as that would have been (hey, I TRIED to make it happen!), I think Leah would have ripped some eyeballs out. So Janet was played by me, the Limey one. And I got to break in Mr. Saturn! Bwahahahaha!!! I like breaking in Brads & Rocky's. They're so terrified, and I beat them when they screw up.

Saturn didn't get beaten, and he left the Theater with his balls in tact. I assured him this meant he did a good job.

We danced and sang and my purse broke during the wedding scene, causing me to accidentally smack Saturn in the face with the chain (rumor has it he's into that kind of thing though, so maybe not a bad thing?)
Saturn is a great Brad. He entertains me. I jump on him at the end of Dammit Janet...because he's afraid of my boobs and I enjoy that.

Ooooh! I almost forgot to mention the most surreal part of the night! Okay, so us Bastards obviously have no problem getting up on stage and shaking our stuff...but this time, we had cameras trained on us. They followed us backstage. It was weird. They were really cool though and they're making a documentary about Rocky Horror so high fives to them. I hope they got lots of entertaining footage that they will share.

So we drive off into the rainy night and get a flat tire. Emo is creepy Riff when we get to the castle. He was also a first-timer (thrown in at the last minute, too!) and did very well. Frank made his entrance and we lost our clothes...there was a speech and a monster and lots of running around. Eddie busted in and died, and we all went to bed.

After bedroom escapades, I went to have fun with the monster, but it was Wes so I tied him up and did him in the butt, but soon got bored and went to play with the lesbians. Halo and Emily. Hawt. Mofo won the lesbian raffle, lucky bastard...so we rubbed our boobs on his head until Frank burst in and we hid.

More stuff happened and then we were in corsets. Kickline was...interesting. I had a lifesaver in my mouth. That in itself was a bad idea. Then I looked at Fish doing the "jump, jumps" and he was shaking his ass like a girly girl and I just lost it. Trying to do kickline while trying to not spit out hard candy from laughing your ass off = a good ab workout!

EmoRiff busted in and killed a bunch of people and we ran away to crawl on the audience. The end.

Upcoming shows: We have a special Friday Night performance at All-Con, WITH after party! Yes, you can come party with the Bastards. It's fun. We like to party party =)

Easter approaches, and with it, the most blasphemous show of the year! March 22nd. The Easter show is when our most devious Bastards get to lay out their ideas for bits we normally would consider too off-colour, even for us. And that says a lot.

Be well, Bastard lovers. Come back, come often, and please clean up afterwards!