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The Inwood Theatre
MIDNIGHT

Dec 27th


The Texas Theatre
10PM

Jan 30


Gwen's Corner

Show report for Saturday March 15th

LB'S 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Report by Madame Leah

Frank- Mister Saturn
Janet- Erin
Brad- Cupcake
Riff- Nuggett
Maggie- Rachel
Columbia- Gwen
Dr. Scott- Slappy
Rocky- Naked Paul
Eddie- Ryan Stone
Crimmie- Milkman Wes
Transies- Jery, Napoleon, Alexa, TJ, Halo, Chelcei, Fred, Squid, Fish, Amy, Sean, Twitch, Limey, and Josh
Spot A- David and Ray
Spot B- Mary
Board- Charles
Sound- Daniel, Danny
Tank- Charles, Cody, Marc, Robert, and Pete
Floorwalkers- Alex, Ryan Briggs, and Bunch
Pre-Show- Alex, Ryan Briggs, Bunch, and Bobcat
Piccies- Donna and Mike
Props- Jackie, Madame Leah, Reah, and Eris
(See you get the FULL LINEUP with me...isn't that exciting???)

There were soooooo many people! We sold out the theatre long before show time, and there were a lot of very unhappy people that didn't get in because there were no seats. But who could foretell it would sell out so fast! I saw so many retired Bastards, it was wonderful!

I really want to say thank you to all of you Old Bastards who showed up, and a extra special thank you to those of you who took the time to participate and join in the fun. There are no words for the way I was feeling on this night, other than really sad and happy all at the same time. It is an amazing thing when you realize that we have made it this far, and done this well.

First of all, the Pre-Show was AMAZING! It was reeeeeally long, I know, but the occassion warranted such length. For the first song, we started out with Primus: Here Come the Bastards...from where the name "Los Bastardos" came from. (Check out the Bastards in History Section that we are working on...you can read allll about it there.) This was a suggestion by Alex and Ryan Briggs, which was a good one that I thought totally appropriate. Then of course, Let's Get Retarded, because I used to laugh like hell at Naked Paul dancing to that. Played a couple more general favorites just to get people in the doors, and of course it ended with Ryan, his boombox, Alex, and a couple of pieces of posterboard with "THAT'S THE WAY", "UH-HUH UH-HUH" and "I LIKE IT". My God. If you have never seen this, check out the video. Pure genious. I loved it years ago, I love it more and more now. Again, check out the video.

Pre-Show finally officially started with speeches by our Founding Fathers Alex "El Bastardo del Grande", Ryan, and some words put in by Bunch, Gwen, and I. I got a t-shirt. I cried on stage because I am a big pussy. (Thanks guys, you seriously cannot know what your words and that t-shirt meant to me.) :)

Ok so I am tearing up now again. Gosh I am such a girl sometimes.

OH, and I meant to mention but was all choked up at the time and a MILLION things were running through my head at the time...Alex was just floored by the props and stuff...he said there was just "so much"...ha ha ha I guess he remembers back in the day where all we had were about 4 tupperware boxes worth of stuff and a couple of 2X4s painted red for a Tank. I have to give credit on the big props though, because those were all Animal's design, and a collaborative effort on several people's behalf. We got lucky on that. ;-) And JJ and Amy have helped so much on the costumes, and all the other people who have helped over the years to bring things and find things, and tell me where to get them, and helped me sew things together at 3 a.m. for God knows what show the next day. Man, the time we have spent on those props...but it is all worth it to me. :) And my cast. I meant to say so many things but was doing good not to tear up really bad at that point, so I will say it here. I know I have the greatest cast ever. I love them all, even when I want to stab them. They have helped make LB what it is, and everyone has done their twisted little part, and I thank you all for it. LB would not be the same without the people it has had over the years to devote selflessly to the cause. So I thank you for helping make the cast awesome. I love you guys! (See seriously I had all this in my head, and then went up there and was like...uhhhh DON'T CRY LEAH, DON'T CRY!!!...Just fucking sad.)

ANYWAY, then we go on to the regular Pre-Show, with Starman of course, and a Spanish Announcer (Bunch of course)...MY GOD. I shall remember it always..."GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!". And then there was humping of the Virgins, and games by Bobcat, who decided on a couple of standards with some EXTRA SPECIAL prizes, one of which I kept for myself because it was just too clever...I love parachute people.

We had all the Bastard Alumni come onstage, and later on sang Sadosodo, complete with new verse....*shudders* which you are SURE to be hearing later on. I have three new ones actually. They WILL be making an appearance. And finally, the speech, a la AQUA TEEN!!!! "I, STATE YOUR NAME, AM SOFA KING WEE TODD ED." It was great. They had signs and everything. Annnnnnd of course to round it out, the regular speech, because we can't confuse everyone. ;-)

ON TO THE SHOW!!!

Opening Dance was actually really good! All of the old people that were performing did a terrific job with their parts, despite what some of them say.

Saturn did awesome as always. I could think of no other Frank for these guys other than one of the Core Audience members from back at Furneaux. I know he enjoyed it as much as I did. :)

Cupcake and Erin were always soooo cute as Brad and Janet, because he is just precious and Erin was always a darling Janet. I love the way they play together, they have great stage chemistry. :) It was good to see them together again. You kinda have to view them as a unit in this because it just isn't right otherwise.

Nuggett was awesome!!! You would NEVER have guessed that he hadn't performed in like 8 years!!!! He even had a SPAT! MY BOYS WON'T EVEN WEAR THE DAMNED SPAT! Nuggett come back, I miss you and love you...

And my sister Rachel was up there for the first time WITHOUT her Converse shoes...lol I am so proud of you baby. I miss you so much! She owned that stuff. She was the only one other than Alexa (who was probably drunk anyway) who was like "Eh it's fine, I am not worried. Hey, I actually found my dress!" *sigh* 8712!!!!!

Columbia was BUTTZILLA!!!!! Gwen, who is now the size of a somewhat normal person. She got the Twinkie...hee hee I had to go there because I love the pic of her with the gun where she is all like, aka the THROW GWEN A TWINKIE MOVIE. LOL!!!! Wow. Ok you old people will know what I am talking about. ANYWAY, I love Gwen and miss her and always loved to watch her play Columbia. She is good people. She said that was the last time, so I hope she enjoyed it as much as the rest of us. Thanks for everything, Gwen. :)

Dr. Scott- SLAPPY!!! I love him! He is so angry and bitter, and perfect in any Rocky role. Just as I remembered him...he had better come back dammit.

Rocky- Naked Paul. "That was allll for you." he says as his nuts fall out... *The groans from the audience wipe out my near hysterical laughter as he swishes the $100 boa inbetween his G-string and butt crack. He shaved! EVERYTHING!!! He had to recharge his razor, he said, and I totally believe him. It was wonderful, as always. I was really hoping to see him up there again too, if not for anything other than to watch Saturn respond to what I knew he would do. It was so wonderful. lol

Eddie- Ryyyyan!!!! "Ok, now I can either run after the Transies Friday night at rehearsal OR on Saturday at the show. I WON'T DO BOTH! So which is it going to be?" OMG Ryan. I so miss you man. He tore Eddie up. Didn't practice my ASS. I love you baby!

Crimmie- Milkman Wes! It was awesome to see Wes onstage again. Not a flaw in that performance. He might come play at Denton with us. YAAAY

Old Transies- Jery-Berry!!!! She has blue tipped hair, and Napoleon has pink tipped hair...it is so cute. I was so happy to see them again! They are awesome Transies, I have missed them so. And Alexa is my total bitch bodyguard sister. She was bored the whole time, and most likely kinda drunk. It was just like old times, except she didn't have to beat anyone's ass in the parking lot. She even wore her tu-tu. I love you Lex. And TJ isn't fat anymore because she finally had her spawn! YAAAAAAY!!!! I heard she brought her up here but I haven't seen her yet... ;-)

New Transies and Techies, you always do well, you know how to work it work it...but you already know that. :-P

You know what, the show was fantastic. There were zero bad mistakes, lots of laughs, and years of history and nostalgia going on. Everyone was on their game. No cues were missed that I saw. Everyone in the audience was laughing, and the Floorwalkers were entertaining everyone so very well. I forgot how funny the triumvirate (that would be Alex, Bunch, and Ryan...welllll add Tiny in there so maybe a little more than a tri....hmmm) was when they got together. I have missed them.

You should all go check out the videos, pics, and Bastards in History Section. We have been working really hard to get the website up to snuff. Please check it out, see what you think, and let me know.

I really am just so thrilled that the cast has done so well over the years. Despite all the mishaps, bullshit drama, attempts to overthrow, lack of time, money, or theatre, about a million panic attacks, too much alcohol, lots of sobbing, and way too many drunken parties, this cast has done so well in comparison to a sea of others, and I could not be more proud. Even when people leave, bad terms or good, they are still my family. And LB has taught me that no matter what happens, in the end, you will always have friends here. There will always be a place in this world for Rocky Horror, and my place is right here, with the rest of the Bastards.

It really has been an honor. I will catch ya'll on the flip side... ;-) Thanks for reading...until next time, Rocky Sluts!

~Madame Leah

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