Gwen's Corner

What can I say about FedCon to those that weren't there (regarding our show, that is)? Well, it was a smaller crowd than one could have hoped for, but not as small as some of us were expecting at the time. I spent three quarters of the show backstage, watching the movie backwards (a hobby of mine, when situations permit it). So here's what little I know:

During Sweet Transvestite, I was backstage, already in most of my costume (sans jacket) mouthing the words for Frank and Brad. Eris came backstage for most of it, and acted out Frank's part while watching the screen. Made it look good, too, what I noticed. Leah ran back and forth constantly throughout the show, moving props to their respective place so as to make clean up run smoother. The transies seemed a little tired or upset when they flowed back and forth backstage after their ordeal was finished, as if someone had drop kicked their puppy...in the face...over a fence...into another country. I'm not sure why that visual pops in my head so often.

By the time that I wheeled onto stage, I was about 26 hours into a very long day, and I'll admit that my brain switched off for part of it. I sang my little songs, got blinded by lights, and heard laughter from the audience that I have no idea what it was about, but wouldn't have been surprised if it were at my expense (thank you, lack of self esteem).

Well, since I obviously can't tell you what happened, I'll make a list of things that DIDN'T happen:

The Borg didn't assimilate the cast.
Leah didn't run around naked while the Ray Stevens song "The Streak" played.
Leah also did not run around naked to the Yakety Sax (which you may know as the Benny Hill Theme).
Zombie Benny Hill didn't eat Fish.
Nor did Zombie Ted Turner.
Ted Turner didn't die.
Tim Russert did. Our condolences. Limey is pretty upset about it, from what I hear.
The aliens from Close Encounters didn't duel with our sound system (and why the hell not?).
Centauri didn't recruit me into the Star League.
Donna may or may not have just laughed upon reading that last line.
Making Akira into a live action film is still not a good idea.
Akira in general is still not a good movie (yeah, that's right...I said it).
None of the men on cast got pregnant, so Junior 2, so far as I know, is still not in the making (thank god).

That's about it for this installment of show report. I hope you enjoyed your time here. Even at under one page, this show report still lasted longer than the con, but then, I spent most of my time there in bed after I found out that Aaron Douglas and James Callis weren't going to be there. Damn shame, too, as I wanted them in my bed with me. Not a likely occurrence, as I couldn't get my hands on that tranquilizer gun...I mean...Oh to hell with it. I'll admit it. I'd become a convicted felon to get my arms around either one of them for a full weekend. :P

-- Mike