Gwen's Corner

***Show Report: October 25th***

Lineup:

Frank : Beau
Janet : Halo
Brad : Alex
Riff : Shannon
Magenta : Emily
Columbia : Eris
Dr. Scott: Donna
Rocky : Wes
Eddie : Cody
Crimmie : Starman
Spots: Scott and Mary
Board : Nuggett
Sound: Sean and Mike
Grips: Cody, Nuggett, Wes, and Wolf
Props : Amy
Floorwalkers: Jason, Cody, Wolf, and Marc
Pre-Show : Beau
Show Report : Emily *ahem*
Piccies : Mike
Transies: Amy, Ashley, Britt, Cory, Fish, JJ, Josh, KC, Kirk, Marc,
Meighan, Pete, Ray, Stefanie, Stephen, and TJ


For those of you who read the lineups, you may have noticed an
unfamiliar name: Alex playing Brad. "Alex?", you ask yourself, "Who the fuck is he?". Well, ten years ago, Alex was the first cast director of Los Bastardos. He moved to New York City (Get a rope!), but still comes back into town once in a while to visit, or for things like the Alumni show back in April (which is how I got sucked back into the quagmire of Rocky after being free for so many years). Anyway, how does a former cast member show up in a core role without anyone (specifically, Madame Leah) knowing about it? Stay tuned, the story is coming :P

First off though, the show. Good crowd that night, especially for the weekend before Halloween. I made a special Trixie appearance, stripping out of my jeans...to reveal a smaller pair of jeans underneath. I am a sexy beast, especially since I've lost 70 pounds or so since the Alumni show. After attention whoring myself out, we started preshow, and did some wacky jokes, none of which I remember, which just proves how awesome they must have been. Seriously, this is a reason to come to every show, because sometimes something evil just spills out of my head, and I don't remember it afterwards, and I'll never say it again. Beau ruined Virgin Games by being his usual self,
i.e. bringing nothing to the table. This time it was Pictionary (lame sauce number one), with the clue being "missionary position" (lame sauce number two), and having Jared draw it badly (lame sauce number three). No one got it right, mainly because Jared drew something that ooked like a cross between a traffic map and Nazca Lines. Once we washed the bad taste of that out of our mouth, we were able to roll through the Pledge and start the fucking flick.

But wait, what's this? No Brad and Janet on stage? Then they come running down the aisle onto the stage? That's Halo...but that's not Mr. Saturn!!!

Okay, so on September 17th, Alex emails me to let me know that he'll be in town the weekend of the 25th, and do we want to do something for the show. Originally, we figured we'd have him do something for preshow (That's the Way, or something), but then he suggests maybe playing Brad, since Madame Leah has asked him to come back and do a guest spot. For the record, Alex is the one who thought that it'd be funnier if he just showed up and surprised everyone. I agree, and I then bring Saturn into the conspiracy by asking him if he minds getting himself cast as Brad for that weekend, and then loaning Alex his Brad costume. Saturn agrees, and so for another 3 weeks or so, only the three of us know about the plan. The week of the show, Saturn tells Halo (who is scheduled as Janet) about the plan, and she's excited. The day before the show, I tell Cody (while we're
sitting in Madame Leah's apartment, mind you) about Alex's arrival, since we'd need him to help us get Alex in the building. On Saturday, Alex goes to Saturn's to go over Brad blocking with Saturn and Halo, so some of Saturn/Halo's roommates find out about the surprise, but thankfully they kept their mouths shut. For my part, I begin telling Madame Leah that I had something to tell her, but I forgot what it was. I repeat this several times over the day, acting like it's really bugging me that I can't remember what it is.

Cut to the night of the show. We load up my car with a metric
shit-ton of Rocky stuff (new spotlights, a prop box, DJ stand, and then my, Fish, and Madame Leah's stuff), and head down to the show. Dave (Tiny) even calls to say that he can't make it to the show, and I agonize that I can't tell him about Alex being there, because Madame Leah is sitting right next to me. We get to the show, and Saturn finds me to tell me that Alex is at the theater, out in the parking lot. I go out front to find him, and run into Ryan (another LB Day 1'er) and his girlfriend, who have come to the show to see Alex (and
hopefully, me). Alex and I talk some last minute strategy, then we go around the back of the theater to find a place for him to hide, and plan a time for him to get into the theater so that he can change. As preshow is going on, Alex makes it into the theater, changes, and gets ready for the show. As preshow ends, Wes has grabbed Madame Leah and is molesting her up front during Opening Dance. Alex and Halo run into place, and the people in the audience who recognize him start to react. I run over, grab Madame Leah out of Wes' grip, and then say "Hey, remember that thing I kept forgetting to tell you? Alex is in town!" and then point to Alex on stage.

BEST CONSPIRACY EVAR!!!!!!

My love of complicated setups followed by massive payoffs sated for now, I go off to floorwalk, and the show goes on. Alex does a wacky bit where his Brad undershirt has "Loves the Cock" written on it, with an arrow pointing to Halo. As we find out during Floor Show, the undershirt also hides Alex's manboobs (or: moobs). Sorry Alex, but this show report is all about full disclosure. Also, I owe him for the trick he pulled later in the show. During "Eddie", I ran up to "kill" Columbia after Frank goes after Eddie with an ax. Then, Halo points out that Alex has a new undershirt on, that says "Bunch *heart*'s tacos". Well, I do *heart* the shit out of tacos, so I run
up and give him a raspberry right on his sweaty Mexican tummy. As I'm walking off stage, he turns around and the back of the shirt says "and Cock". That greasy bastard!!! So the show goes on, Beau probably fucked up a few more times, shenanigans, jokes, boobs, boobs, jokes, boob jokes, shenanigans, then "Superheroes". Alex took "Superheroes" literally and brought costumes. He was Harvey Birdman (Attorney at Law), and Halo was Spaaaaaaaace Ghoooooooost!!!!!! Cast call, cast
meeting (with Alex), and then cast-gets-the-fuck-out-of-there.

Oh wait, almost forgot the most important part: PUMPKIN PANCAKES!!! Yes, IHOP has Pumpkin Pancakes for a limited time only, and so we invaded IHOP to get some of that breakfasty goodness. Food is fucking awesome, and Pumpkin Pancakes are the bomb-diggity. Alex heads back to New York (not right away), I drive Madame Leah and Fish back to Denton, and all is once again well in the world of Rocky.