Gwen's Corner

Show Report
December 20, 2008
The Bastard of the Quarter Line-up

First, I will explain what this is all about. Every quarter, Madame Leah chooses one cast member for the distinction of being Bastard of the Quarter (hereafter referred to as BotQ). What this usually means is they are being recognized for what they do for the cast as a whole, be it making decorations, organizing for projects, coming up with good costumes... whatever. The recognition comes with a framed certificate proclaiming them to be "Bastard of the Quarter".

Now me, being a person who occasionally has a brilliant idea, had this epiphany. What if there was some sort of 'treat' that came along with this award? Would other cast members try harder and help more to make things happen? I thought if it were the right treat that the cast would probably volunteer for stuff more.

I now realize that this was a TERRIBLE idea. Why is this a terrible idea? Well, I was BotQ last quarter and I did the line-up thing for tonight's show. I have a feeling that people will be trying VERY hard to be recognized as BotQ for the sole purpose of getting revenge for what I did to them. Yes... I am not long for this world. Their vengeance will be total and I know now that I have erred in a very big way.

That being said, personally, I was highly entertained by last night's show. HIGHLY. Yes, it will result in my ultimate demise but I would not change a thing. It was fun, really fun. It did what I wanted it to do for me and that was, break up the monotony of doing the same show every week. I love this cast a lot but I have been getting fairly burnt out doing the same thing every week. Seriously. It gets old and shaking things up in a crazy show was just the medicine I needed. I'm hoping that it had the same effect on the rest of the cast too. So.... on with the report!

My line up and my reason for choosing these people was as follows:

Frank was played by Britt.
I picked Britt because I saw him one day in the parking lot singing along to Sweet T and doing some of the moves. He mentioned that he would like to try out for that part eventually so I threw him in there to get him seen. Also... I wanted to watch his hair bounce around cause I thought it would remind us old cast of Jason...and it did. Bouncey! bouncey! Britt did a fantastic job for the most part. He's got the Frank attitude and he can do that hip wiggle thing really good. I would like to see him do it again sometime with full costume in a regular show cause I think he could become a really good Frank with actual practice on the blocking and some experience on the stage.

Janet was played by Mary.
Umm... I admit it. I did this because I thought it would be funny and it was. Janet is the girliest of girls, giggly and wearing the dresses and carrying the pretty purses and such... Mary is... not big on the pretty purses and wearing pinks and lavenders so much. Not to mention the impossibility of getting that lovely white hat on over her tall yellow mohawk... I love Mary a lot. She is one of the most creative and energetic people on cast and she can sell pieces of TAPE! If you can sell tape you should be able to do anything, right? I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think she could do it. I was right. She did a great once she got over the shock of having to be Janet. I think she had fun once the shock wore off but she won't admit it. Mary will be the cause of my doom. I know this. How do I know this? Well... Mary is this quarter's BotQ. I probably should have thought of this before throwing her in as Janet.... so it was nice knowing you all.

Brad was played by Beau.
I'm still not sure why I picked him other than I just like seeing Beau on stage. He puts his all into everything that he does and he will take ANY punishment while in character. Beau once told Animal that he could do whatever he wanted to him as long as it was funny. Animal took that to heart and thus started what I refer to as the "poor Beau" years. Everytime he was a core character I ended up saying "poor Beau" as least once during the show. I tried to get ahold of Robert to have him show up and jump Beau during bedroom scene last night but couldn't. Luckily Squiddie was present and when I told him what was needed he jumped on it. I almost said "poor Beau" but then remembered that it was my doing and giggled instead.

Riff was played by Kirk.
Kirk is really tall. My original plan was to put two extremely SHORT people in as Maggie and Columbia so it would make for an entertaining window scene but I threw that out the window for reasons that will be evident later in this report. I think Kirk was in shock for most of the show... he had a kind of dazed look about him... borderline deer in headlights. He's only played transies so this was new. He did okay with lots of people yelling at him telling him where he should be. He kept giving me the 'I'm gonna kill you' look from across the stage too... I live in fear of him getting BotQ. He had fun. At least he told me he did.

Maggie was played by Ashley.
Ashley did pretty good considering it was her first time being on stage as anything other than a transie. Ashley would also like to try out for Maggie sometime and I knew this so that is one reason that I picked her. I think she could probably be a pretty good Maggie if she works on it. She had a few moments of 'deer in headlights' but that is to be expected. It looks a lot easier than it is, I will be the first to admit it. You can study from the movie for months but when you're actually up there is a whole different animal.

Columbia was played by Jason.
Now this is the FIRST role that I cast many weeks ago. He's always running down mocking the Columbia's so I thought what a great bit of revenge this would be. Jason was completely convinced that he would be doing floorwalking per usual last night. That was because for the last week I've been asking him to come up with bits for the show for Britt and stuff. Friday night I even asked him if he came up with anything good and we discussed floorwaking stuff for a bit. Yeah... he was bamboozled. I was highly entertained and he got to do more than just stand around yelling.

Rocky was played by English.
That's right. He comes home for the holidays and I put him to work. My original choice for Rocky was Saturn but then Leah emailed me and said that English would be here and asked if he could play Frank or Rocky in last night's show. I wasn't giving up Britt so I put him in as Rocky. He had no idea that he was going to be in it either. I thought he knew but no. And then when he found out it was going to be a kind of name out of a hat show he asked Shannon if he was going to be cast and she flat out lied to him without blinking an eye. Eris was astounded. English also told me that he hated me.

Eddie was played by Saturn.
Originally it was going to be Nuggett and I'm sure that Nuggett is happy that English showed up. Saturn was not happy although if he had known the original plan I'm sure he would have been full of joy. I think he thought he was safe because I'm his friend and wouldn't do that to him. He, of all people, should know that I am evil. At least he wasn't having to play Rocky, so he should have been happy about that. It's not like he doesn't have the whole movie memorized, right? He did a fantastic job AND he even did the lift (Nononono!!! Not with Jason!) with Halo as a stunt Columbia!

Dr. Scott was played by Madame Leah.
I've seen her play every core part but Eddie, Dr. Scott and Crimmie. Mike and I were gonna watch really close so we could document how she screwed up, cause we're bad like that. Well, I'm here to say that she didn't really screw up anything. Then again... SHE knew that she would be playing Dr. Scott so she probably worked on it. She was the teeniest Dr. Scott I've ever seen. It was cute!

Crimmie was played by Pete.
I really wanted to put Pete in there cause he's good people but I didn't want to traumatize him too much. Mike has done that enough and I like Pete. He is pretty quiet but when he says or does stuff, he does it big. I didn't get to see a whole lot of the crimmie stuff but I hear he did a mostly great job, considering how much Crimmie says when he does talk. Mike stayed near him most of the night and fed him lines and it is Mike's fault that Crimmie was nowhere to be seen for the "And then she cried out!" line just before floorshow. They were both in the lobby.

Transies... I left them pretty much alone with one addition. I put Starman Matt in as a transie. I'm a bad person. I wanted to see how energetic and bubbly he could get. Starman didn't think that I was serious about him being a transie though and he went back and sat down to enjoy the show as a floorwalker until I noticed him and yelled at him. He did end up going down and being a transie from the Time Warp on though and that made me happy a lot.

Memorable moments! There were a bunch so I'm just going to hit the highlights.

Opening dance.
During opening dance, experienced cast were running back and forth pinning and putting costume pieces onto the chosen ones. This was amusing if for no other reason than seeing Jason donning Columbia wear and watching mary fighting off having to wear the pretty purse and handing the white hat off to anyone that would take it away from her.

There's a Light.
Mary trying to avoid that last smooch from Beau, who was determined to get it.

Time Warp.
Jason doing Columbia's song from BEHIND the jukebox (cause he's tall enough) and then doing her dance and spin/prancing like some giant rabid gay bunny. I was in pain from laughing.

Sweet T.
Britt trying to get into position for the 'boom chika boom' part in front of the throne and being bumped away by Jason who was clueless on where to be... Then Jason practically licking Britt's shoes... glorious!

Lab Scene.
Jason steps up to the mic and starts the "Tonight..." speech, realizing that they put a REAL mic up there, stepping back and Jason grabbing the back of his head and shoving it back to the mic. Giggles ensued.

Rocky's Birth.
English still remembers it all. The unwrapping of Rocky is hard enough when you know what you're doing... When you don't know it gets humorous.

I Can Make You A Man.
Rocky goes down for his pushups and suddenly there is a huge pile of guys on the floor on top of him.

Bedroom scenes.
Mary? Mary!!! You're making out with Britt!! WhAT!???!?
Beau... Aren't you glad Squiddie was here... in his wrestling outfit... all over you...?

Toucha.
Jason was so CUTE in the Mickey Mouse ears!!!
Danny! Put your pants back on!

Floorshow.
As expected... individual floorshows were kinda a mess... Jason had Halo right behind him making his arms move and stuff.. it was funny! but the kickline? They did it almost perfectly! I was impressed as were most of cast.

If you managed to read all of this then I'm impressed! I know this was a really long report and that is partially due to me explaining the BotQ thing in the beginning. The other part of the blame is due to me just being long winded and a bore. The show was LOTS of fun and I am not looking forward to Mary's lineup because of the whole venengeance thing. I'm positive I screwed myself last night but it was worth it. I hope YOU enjoyed it as well.

Donna