Gwen's Corner

Frank: Wes
Janet: Ashley
Brad: Cody
Riff Raff: Kirk
Magenta: Emily
Columbia: Amy
Dr. Scott: Mike
Rocky: Sean
Eddie: Pete
Criminologist: Shannon
Transies: Buttons, Christy, Eris, Fish, Gussie, Jery, Jon, KC, Lyndi, Megaaaan, Napoleon, Scott, and Vex
Tech, Sound, and Props: Walker, Mary, Donna, Sean, Nuggett, Gussie, Marc, and Eris
Floorwalkers: Jason, Jeremy, Shannon, Marc

Halloween season is upon us, and Los Bastardos made another special trip up to the Land of Denton to delight and amuse all who had a couple of free hours and a few dollars to toss our way. Protip: if you're standing outside and it's cold, ask a Transie if you can put your hands down their pants in order to warm them up. It makes both of you feel good! The Denton Movie Tavern was once again a gracious host to the whirlwind of activity and glitter that follows us (SO TIP YOUR WAITSTAFF BITCHES!!!)

Mary and I (Hi, I'm Jason) were Living La Vida Loca to start off preshow, and after the mandatory reading of the mandatory rules (Highlight of the Rules? Number 4), we had the mandatory listening to of the Madametory Leah. Well, we would have, but Gus and I managed to break her fragile sanity through song, so I would up doing most of the announcements while she swore at me and plotted revenge on Gus. The highlights were that we'll be back in Denton for Halloween weekend (Friday the 30th), and we'll be having a Big Ass Costume Contest on both nights with Big Ass Prizes for our winners. Good ones too, not the crap we usually give out, honest! There's also our Harry Potter show on the 24th, which is in about 6 hours from the time I'm typing this up, so if you actually read this in time to go to the show, then good on ya!

Emily made our lucky virgins fake classic horror movie character orgasms, and the two zombies won, because zombies are awesome. We swore everyone in as Official Rocky Sluts (we can't have unofficial sluts in there, it's a zoning issue), and then the movie started. Yay movie!

As the movie was starting, a guy in a Gumby costume was coming in late, which was awesome, except that it was too late to make him play Ralph. Alas Gumby! This is why you should get there early! You get your tickets quicker, get inside to get the good seats (and yes, there are good seats), then have time to liquor up and order food, watch the dancing girls, or just mingle with horny Bastards.

I'd like to commend everybody for getting up and getting their awkward white groove on during the Time Warp. It's always nice when you people participate, we feed off your energy like some kind of vampire, but not the gay twinkly kind.

A few people were releasing waaaaaaay early on throwing their toilet paper. You premature ejaculators make us all look bad :P Wes and Sean were so occupied playing grabass with each other that they were waaaaaaay late getting back on stage at the end of the number. Wes has high heels as an excuse...Sean just has disinterest.

Later on, Sean played another round of our new favorite Denton show game: Let's Steal Janet's Bra! It's simple, Sean (and others) unhook Janet's bra, then try to steal it. If they win, we all get to see titties! It's always fun to watch the Janets try and stay decent while not missing any of the blocking. Sean had Ashley pinned down pretty well going into the tank, and managed to steal her bra entirely and put it on himself. Ashley has good boob-covering forearms though, so unless you were right up front, you probably didn't get much of a show. Aha! That goes back to "getting there early". See? I DO know what I'm talking about.

Wes also managed to get Ashley's bra undone while he was chasing her around, then when he came over to my area, he knocked a pitcher of water off the table and slipped and fell. It was the greatest thing ever (that didn't actually involve boobs), even if I did get wet in the process. Lucky for him, I require massive quantities of water in the course of a show, so the pitcher wasn't that full by the time he tipped it over.

Floor show was awesome, as always, and Ashley's jugs were safely restrained by a corset by this point. Cody gave a lapdance to a birthday girl in the audience, and then we finished the show. There was some lusty singing outside, and a girl named Dawn said she loved me. Dawn, if you're reading this, send me nudes and I'll consider it. My email is at the top of this report.

That's it everybody! Join us next week for the big Denton Halloween Warm-up show, followed by Halloween night in Ft. Worth. It's TWO HALLOWEEN'S!!! It's like having divorced parents and getting two Christmases, but it's Halloween so it's not gay like Christmas. COME SEE US!!!