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The Inwood Theatre
MIDNIGHT

Dec 27th


The Texas Theatre
10PM

Jan 30


Gwen's Corner

Show report for Saturday January 2nd

Best of the Year 2009

Report by Jeremy

Well, it’s 2010 now and to kick the new year off we held the Bastards annual “Favorite Costumes of Whatever the Previous Year Was Show”, and what a glorious show it was. Amidst all the hilarity I had eaten some Taco Casa (See: Bad Ideas) and had caught a case of the “Ah fuck”s. The best way I can describe it so that you might understand how I felt is it felt like I was entering the second, non-fun stage of being drunk, when no food will stay down and you just want to moan miserably into a toilet. Here’s a rundown of the show from my point of view.

Preshow/Virgin Games/Wedding/Car scene and There’s a Light: Feeling alright at this point. Need to stop to catch my breath and make attempts at not throwing up every few minutes.

Then Time Warp comes along and I, for whatever reason just lose it. After the song any attempt at standing leads to sheer dizziness and the onset of nausea. I decide at this point that sitting is probably a better option.

I sat for most of the show, still throwing lines which were amusing at least three rows ahead of me, so I wasn’t too disappointed in my performance. Somewhere near the end I had to ask Leah if I could just leave after the show because cast meeting wasn’t going to be very pleasant for me. Here, though, are a few of the funnier highlights I can still remember.

We had Fish playing Brad as Blinken once again and Amy doin’ the Helen Keller as Janet. Does much more need to be said about a double blind bit? Hilarity ensued with such gems as Backwards Kick Line and Wrong Way Floorshow.

Sean was floorwalking, and playing the part of Satan, a little too well if you ask me. At one point a couple of people blew up condoms and float-tossed them around the theater and Sean saw his opportunity to play mischief-maker, catching one midair and proceeding to hump it.

Gus was rocking his “Trouble” outfit once more, which mostly consists of bubble wrap and tape and completed with pop-o-matic bubble just over his junk. At some point I saw him being chased about and having bits of the bubble wrap torn from him.

Then, as from the heavens, a spotlight-illuminated Marc appears as Riff, in nothing but a white bra and black thong. If I thought standing were sure to bring me nausea, I hadn’t seen anything yet. Riff proceeds to kill Frank and every man in the audience’s boner.

Superheroes came up and the combination of horrid Mexican food and Marc’s package finally overcame me. I made all haste to the men’s room and exited just in time to see the audience leaving our theater.

There you have it, our Favorite Costumes of 2009 show! If you’ve learned nothing of morals from our sheer disregard for any of the people these costumes are supposed to represent or their feelings, remember this; Stay away from Taco Casa.

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