Gwen's Corner

Hey everyone. Starman here, with a brief report on the way things was back on June 9th, 2007.

FRANK Saturn
JANET Emily (1ST TIME EVAH!)
BRAD Fish
RIFF Daniel
MAGENTA Jenn (1ST TIME EVAH!)
COLUMBIA Halo (1ST TIME EVAH!)
DR. SCOTT Charles
ROCKY English
EDDIE Chewie (1ST TIME EVAH!)
CRIMMIE Shannon

TRANSIES Eris, JJ, Mike, Katie, Manda, Marc,Bob, Eric, Star, Cecilie, Josh, Sean, Jeremy, Tora and Mary

TECH, SOUND PROPS & SECURITY Beth, Bobcat, David, Donna, Preston, English, Chewy and Charles

FLOORWALKERS Starman, Chewy, Wolf and English

It was a simpler time. Music was happier. Children respected their elders. And we had four people playing parts for the very first time. And there was much rejoicing, for they did not screw up too much.

I kid, I kid. All the newbies did great. And the oldbies too. And if the drunks who accosted myself and Halo after that show at Ol' South can be believed (though I'll be damned if I know how they recognized us as I don't remember seeing them at the show) then the show was good.

Oh, speaking of Halo - she headbutted me by accident that night. See, she was doing the bit where Columbia runs away in tears while singing about Eddie and I was standing in the aisle. Well, she was running right towards me, so I thought "Ah, well obviously she expects me to hug her in a manly fashion, comfort the sad girl" as people are wont to do when Columbia is sad.

Well, I forgot three things. First, that Halo is practically blind without her glasses. Second, that I was wearing all black in a dark theater. Third, that the spotlight was shining right into Halo's eyes to my right so I was effectively invisible.

I still have the make-up marks on my shirt.

The rest of the show was actually pretty standard.

We did "throw the dildo into the helmet" for the virgin games - only the dildo we usually use had either gone missing or had the tip bitten off - I heard conflicting reports and I'm too scared to confirm it either way. So we had the virgins throw a plastic banana into the helmet instead. I imagine it COULD be used for a dildo. Probably.

There was also a larger number of underage virgins with parents there last night - which makes one aspect of my job very difficult. See, unless they are a virgin, we really have no way of identifying underage teens at Rocky. Which is very difficult if you are a floorwalker looking for some fine-looking ladies to grind up against during the "Group Sex!" part of the Time Warp and you have issues with grinding up against a fine-looking but very illegal lady.

So Chewie and I did the best we could and were forced into Group Sexing Madame Leah together.

Yes. Forced! Forced I say! We had absolutely no choice! It had nothing to do with Leah wearing a short plaid skirt and corset.

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Don't you judge me!