Gwen's Corner

LINEUP INWOOD SATURDAY 1/26
Frank ‘n’ Furter : Britt
Janet: Jenny
Brad : Danny
Riff-Raff : Jon
Magenta : Patricia
Columbia : Adrienne (she’s back, yay!!)
Dr. Scott : Pete
Rocky Horror : Snowflake
Eddie : Cody
Crimmie : Sean
Spot A : Chance
Spot B : Austin
Lightboard : James
Sound1 : Danny
Sound2 : Sean
Grip : Danny, Cody, Canadian Dave, Jeremy, Snowflake, Pete
Security: Gregg
Props : Heather
Floorwalkers : Jason, Alex, David, Cody
PreShow1 : Alex, Jason
Virgin Games: Snowflake
Show Report : Madame Leah
Piccies : Fish n Chips
Transies: Cameron, Heather, Jesse, Baby June, Amy, Nikcola, Renny, Rachel, Sam, Aaron, Amira

Hello BASTARD FANS! It was good to be back home. We missed our show last month, that was no bueno. We did make it up last night, though. We had a sold out house last night (yay!) and it was packed and sweaty and full of glitter. People will be picking that off of themselves for months to come (LOVE IT). We started off with some random jokes that I didn’t understand (partially because I don’t get anything in pop culture and partially because I am slightly slow, anyway), but I love watching Alex and Jason go up there and swing cock. Alex had a Jayne hat. (As in the Jayne from Firefly.) That makes me happy. Jason was getting’ his hair did ‘afore the show, and that was also exciting. If none of you have ever touched his hair, you should. It is soft and beautiful. Mmmm. Wait no check that. If you are a hot female (a real one, not like a she-male or anything) then you can ask him. Otherwise don’t, or you will lose an arm. Snow was up there for Virgin Games (first time) and had a wonderful little game with grandparents in mind. It was full of visual sadness towards the end and I appreciated it. Someone was getting laid based off of that. That’s all I am saying.

Show start, yay. Flick! New Transies! We have so many, I am so excited! They were everywhere and all colorful and wonderful and It pleases me a great deal. Danny was thrown off a bit by Jenny’s Janet (she’s so violent with him, it is a thing of beauty) and Jon’s hair was puffier than ever. Patricia has this yellow spankerchief for Magenta and it looks like mustard. It distracts me. She has such a nice ass. Adrienne is back as Columbia, yay! Her boobies amused her much during Opening Dance (that’s Science Fiction, for all you normal peeps). They are huge and sparkly. They are wonderful.

We had a wedding and a proposal where Danny flew and almost fell. There was a car ride, where Danny STILL DIDN’T STITCH HIS PANTS SO YOU CAN SEE HIS UNDERWEAR AND IT IS AWFUL AND HE DOES THIS ON PURPOSE I HATE YOU DANNY…And then there were 6 trees that hit Janet and then they ran away and it was all shiny everywhere in the theatre for “There’s a Light”. Jon is a creepy Riff. He looks like he has hollow eyes sometimes. That’s good though because that’s how it is supposed to look. TIME WAAAAARP ARMY OF TRANSIESSSSSS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AND COLORFUL AND why is Jesse the only boy up there? How…? Adrienne forgot that the tap dance is supposed to not be on the other side of the stage. BUT. SHE BOUNCED. So I guess that is ok.

BRITT ‘N’ FURTER. He is so bouncy today! His hair was everywhere and he has a new tattoo that has the Frank heart with the knife through it on his arm AND IT SAYS BASTARD ON TOP OF THE HEART. I WAS SO EXCITED I PEED A LITTLE. His hair looked shorter but he said it was because the relaxer he put in it two years ago finally came out. What the hell? I am full of wonder today. He has this giant weiner that stares at you during Sweet T. Always staring.

And then Danny’s clothes were off, and it was awful. And then there was meet and greet, and he was covered up by a robe from Riff, thankfully for everyone. Jenny should slap him more. She knows. She knows. Like Gandalf. She knows all.

So then there was a speech and some theatrics and some weird ass creation scene song, and then Rocky Horror popped out of the tank like magic! Snowflake only looked scared (I know he wasn’t). Then the wraps mostly came off, and he ran. He ran so far away. But he couldn’t get away. (I am so awesome.) And then Frank touched him and said, “You will be my bitch.” And Rocky said “DERP DERP.” But, he is pretty and lifted weights, and there was glitter everywhere and it was wonderful. Then there was Eddie! Cody was Eddie and they always scream for him because he is a baler. He didn’t put the sax in his mouth and I was glad…because it was in someone’s pants. In the meantime, James (who was running lightboard) was farthing on Paul (Fish n Chips) who was taking pics. James had Panda Express. Apparently this does bad things to James. It did not trouble me because I was far away.

And then Eddie was dead.

And Rocky was let out. And he tried to lick Frank…and got slapped in the face, then the nutsack. This still did not deter him. He wanted more. And he got it. I am not sure whose tongue was where but I think it was kinda hot. Magic makeup to not get smeared when there’s that level of tongue action.

And then bedroom scene. The sheets were limp, but that’s alright. I stared at Jenny’s Janet boobies in the bra. They are wonderful. And then butt-rape of the monster. Riff took a running leap and then there was nothing but sadness and horror on Rocky’s part. But Rocky got away! Snap into a Slim-Jim. Bedroom scene for Brad…well…this was special. Fishie was here! (Look him up, Absent Friends.) They…raped…?...Brad…kinda. You know, for an old man, Danny has a lot of fight in him. It is still gross. His balls are so big. Eww. What is wrong with this cast? There were like 5 dudes on stage with no pants and all of them were rubbing on each other and…never mind. NEXT.

Then Rocky found a tank, and a Slut! And it was…special! I don’t know how Jenny Janet manages to manhandle these boys so much and still look innocent…I…just like it. And then there was whipping, and line missing, and Dr. Scott! How do you shake up Pete as Dr. Scott? How do you get him to miss his lines? Boobs? Handjobs? Oral? You don’t. Even with these things, Pete doesn’t budge. He is a master.

I don’t remember where I was.

Dinner. There was food…sortof. And Rocky shoveled a lot of candy in his face, and later in the evening found a melted KitKat bar in a pocket that stayed warm for at least an hour while we were at the restaurant. I don’t…defying the laws of science KitKat bar…terrifying. Anyway. Then there was singing, and hand jiving, and a dead body, and running, and then falling, and then freezing, and then Floorshow and TITS TITS TITS! Yay Adrienne’s tits! And Rocky needs shoes, Brad needs less balls, Janet doesn’t need a twisted ankle, Frank needs a new bitch and wants a satin dress, and Dr. Scott gets his legs back.

There was a kickline where no one fell, a ray gun that killed people, a house that lit off like Castle Greyskull, some more bad singing, tits, and people with Brad’s balls in their face.

CAST CALL….THEY ALWAYS CHEER SO LOUD FOR CODY. ALWAYS. (CODY YOU WHORE.)

I have glitter still all over me despite the shower. How does this happen I don’t even…

Welcome to glitter hell. Love you all, look forward to next month and to ALL-CON, baby!

TAKE CARE, ROCKY SLUTS!