Gwen's Corner

Hello all you lovely little people out there in Bastardland. Madame Leah here to thrill and delight you with a most wonderous and beautiful show report. Now, this was a special and fantastic occassion because it was our Bill and Ted Theme Show. Also, it was Animal's "last" show. What that really means is, he is bored with the show for now and wants to watch more TV. Don't worry kiddies, I am sure for the love of his gigantic ego that he will be back soon enough for your enjoyment or fear. Hee hee hee...

Anyway, I just wanted to write the report to let you all know how hard the cast worked to get this Bill and Ted pre-show together. Talk about busting their asses on this one, man. For MONTHS (seems like years, actually) they worked to get the timing right under a relentless slave-driver named Animal. Well actually, it was originally Animal and Bobcat's idea, so they should both be given credit. Anyway, the cast really tore this one up and busted their asses to get everything right and in the correct order. I was really sick or all of it, to tell you the truth, but when it finally came together I was just so pleased with the overall outcome. Just fantastic!

Almost the entire cast was in it, and I hope that almost all of you got to see it, and those of you that did see it, enjoyed it immensely. It took a lot of effort to get that one ready. Emily needs a freaking medal of honor for this one. She taught everyone all the dances and did the blocking and tore the hell out of all of it. It was beautiful. They listened to her and everything, it was truly lovely. Ok, now I am starting to do my Director thing, so I will just stop with that and move on to something else. A-HEM.

OK, Bill and Ted and Rocky cast was as follows:
Katie- Christina Aguilera. All in white, totally hot and gemmed up. Perfect! Also played Janet during the show, and did her makeup during car scene a-la-Christina and all. I always love watching Katie play, she has fun when she is up there and enjoys hitting the Brads. It amuses me to hear her slap them from the second row. Keep up the good job, Katie!
English (my little hot ass) and Cody (my little stable boy) were half of our Danza Danza (think King of the Hill in Japan) team, paired with Emily and Limey. The opening dance sequence was secretly my favorite because there was ALWAYS eye candy. Hot girls and hot guys, I was ALL OVER that part. LOL. But seriously, the performance was flawless and I was oh-so happy!
Saturn came in later as Magneto (in the OFFICIAL costume (which he cut apart later to reveal fishnet clad legs for Frank-N-Furter), and which had a half melted too-small helmet (betcha couldn't tell though).
SuperNONGAY Daniel played Riff as SuperGAY Superman, and waved his pretty little ribbon around most flamboyantly. However, it was hot and Shannon ended up finishing up the show because the damn suit tried to kill Daniel in the middle of the show.
Bizah and her pretty fire-crotch played Maggie (yes I know how APPROPRIATE) as the Lady in the Water, and Star rocked on as Female Ted (with nipples through wifebeater, thank you Star!) and as Columbia. Just perfect. Nothing else to say about that.
Cody came back in as Rocky Nacho Libre, and the little red spandex panties were just so cute. I fucking love Cody, he is a tard sometimes, it amuses me. We also had 3 Samuel L. Jacksons, Cody, Bobcat, and English. We were gonna have a real black guy, but he backed out, which sucks. BUT, I think it was funnier having 3 random white guys play the part. It confused people and that made me happy.
Preston was the JUGGERNAUT (Bitch.....BITCH!!!!!) and whirled Jessica Simpson (that was after a nearly non-seen but well costumed G-Girl) with flaming pink hair (Halo, DUUUUUUUH people) around while she was on her rollerskates.
Danny's retard ass was Jack Bauer from 24, with a wig on that my grandmother gave me, and then later was Lex Luthor, who had a lovely and newly shaven head. Danny did a fantastic job of fucking up the part of Crimmie most of the show. Well, we will see if THAT ever happens again....(groans). I still thought he looked like Jason, but whatever. Danny and Bobcat and Cody memorized the whole freaking thing, I wanted to cry. I was so sick of it...(not going there Leah, don't do it!!!!), but it was very funny to watch them rehearse.
Bill was Wes, as I mentioned earlier and also one of the people who really impressed me, and Manda Manda was Female Bill, and she is always cute so that worked out well. I particularly loved the "we've got lovely lady lumps" part. Sooooo funny! Marc came out on fire as Ricky Bobby, stripping off some clothes to rub his belly for the "ladies" before running offstage.
Tom Cruise (way too tall English) and Amy (Katie Holmes and Devil Baby Suri) came out later on in the show to convince us further that stupid people should not breed, and the Death Dealer (Emily) gave us all hard ons in her black vinyl outfit. DAMN. That's all I gotta say about that. D-A-M-N. If you missed it, I am so sorry.
Davy Jones came out of the phone booth, singing a great version of Spongebob Squarepants, and was Greg (my Super Emo) under there. So damned beautiful. He HATED that mask and I enjoyed his suffering, only because it made me laugh. I could see the look of irritation as he danced across the stage with the mask bouncing in front of his eyes. Just beautiful. Tee hee hee...
The Monk from Da Vinci Code was Josh, and damn that boy is funny even when he just stands there. I love the expressions! He also donned a wig and later became Jay from Jay and StarmanSilent Bob.
Captain Jack (well, Mexican unshaven for a week Captain Jack) appeared in the form of Animal {Minion is gone for a while}, and I'm Sailing Away with a puking Elizabeth Swann (Limey Love) dueled with Magneto's magical CGI, otherwise known as Bobcat in a CGI suit. Oh my God. If you don't know what that is, look it up. OH MY GOD. All I am gonna say.
The Hoff was played by my beautiful no longer blonde pineapple, Gay Mike. He was totally the shit! I thought I would piss myself every time he was onstage. I hope we can post some of this stuff.
Maybe one day we will even do it again. But not in the near future. It was incredible, and fun, and a total pain in the ass, and awesome all at the same time. I was so pround of them!

The official rest of the lineup is here, because it might be easier this way...

Core already listed, Transies were Emo, Josh, Limey, Amy, Marc, Halo, Manda, Mary (yaaaay cookies!), Jenn, Cecilie (she's new), Sean (baldie!), Jeremy (former tuba player, what WHAT???), and Tora (just damn quiet). All my Transies looked AWESOME this time, I just love watching them when in action!

My beloved Techies were Paul (gay homo on crack - dear God someone give him a sandwich!), Emily, Donna (NO SURI I DIDN'T MEEEEEAN IT!!!!), English, Preston, Charles (What the hell do you want???), and Cody. Props were Fatty (Kate! Hee hee), and Sound was Animal and Bobcat. My Floorwalkers were Starman Matt, Animal, Preston, and Wolf.

Bill (Wes) and Ted (Fish) did a very good job of rocking out the part of Brad Majors, as they would have to switch out onstage every time the Bill and Ted custom "guitar riff" for the Wyld Stallyns was heard.
It was DAMN FUNNY!!! Animal and I had way too much fun watching them be all nice at first and then hit the shit out of each other as they fought over who got to be onstage. Just beautiful. I still enjoyed Gay Riff, and not enough crotch love from the Lady in the Water, and Danny fucked everything ALL up, BUT WE WON'T GO INTO THAT RIGHT NOW!!!! There are so many other notes I would say but damn this has been LONG ENOUGH....yet another reason I don't write the damned show report too often.

All in all, it was a great show. Anything else, you just lemme know! Love to all!