Gwen's Corner

So. What can I possibly say about the Easter show that will let you effectively know the level of hell reserved for us Bastards? Well…Fish was Brad as Jesus and he was (quite literally) a bloody mess, ended up strapped to a cross and upside down. So really, I should just leave show report at that and let you draw your own conclusions, but really, what fun would that be? So we had normal (if you consider anything we do normal) boy virgin games, so nothing much to report there. The best part was the girl games. We had our normal two girls…and then…Saturn’s sister. Oh yes. And Animal made our poor little Saturn sit right up front so that he could watch her take her bra off. I can’t remember her name (and it makes me sad), but she’s feisty! You see, Saturn is “a big, floppy mangina” as he puts it, and I have discovered the reason why. His sister inherited any kick assness he should have. She even popped Animal…and nothing happened to her. She is my new hero. Anywho. So virgin games were over.

We had lips…but no crucifying…yet. Katie was wearing all white and trying desperately to stay away from Fish…who was COVERED in fake blood and open wounds. This was pretty much an ongoing thing. Saturn was The Pope, henceforth referred to as FrankenPope. So he was all in white. It was really amusing with Saturn though, he’s really REALLY OCD and anytime Fish looked like he might touch him, Saturn’s face just looked so horrified. In fact…MOST of us spent our night dodging Fish. He just wanted to hug everyone…but…EW. Wes was dressed as Braveheart…aka Mel Gibson and kept shouting obscenities at Fish. Amy was a shiny, happy Bunny Columbia with floppy, shiny green ears. Leah was Magenta (all in white, and doing a lot of running from Fishy Christ Superstar) wearing a scrap of white felt for a skirt. No one really minded. One of the cutest things that night was Halo as a purple and pink little Bo Peep, complete with her sheep, who was Mary. Mary spray painted LOTS of cotton balls pink, and stuck them on clothing. There were cotton balls EVERYWHERE by the end of the night. Charles was a Peeps Display stand. MMM….peeps. Somehow or another Fishy Christ ended up with a peep skewered on his Crown of Thorns. I was confused. FrankenPope spent most of the night either trying really hard to stay away from Fishy Christ or “paying homage” as it were. Anywho. More insanity. Nothing to interesting during dinner scene. But, then again, when is there ever…really. Leah threw eggs at people (they had candy so it’s okay.)

Fast forward a little more. OH! Before I forget! How could I? Jebbus, I’m a dunce. Preston. I love him. He played Eddie (like 90% of the time). He came out in a mulitcoloured box! He was supposed to be an easter egg. Anywho, instead of dancy dancy, lifty lifty he handed out Easter Eggs also. It was COOL. So NOW we fast forward to the part I really wanted to get too. CRAP! I forgots the English. I loves the English also. He wanted to do the Donnie Darko thing, but couldn’t find a bunny suit. Sad English. So he decided, instead, to be a Bunny dressed in a Suit. I was amused. His little bunny ears were white and black. It made me happy. Right, I don’t think I’m forgetting anything this time…and if I am…well fuck it. So nyah. Floor Show!!! Nothing at all interesting happened…shit…Gay Mike. I forgot Gay Mike. He was pushed down the aisle by one of our techies (Paul…well..shit…Paul3 technically) he was a gay jew. He had a skullcap with a rainbow coloured Star of David on it. I was amused. But half his ass was also hanging out as he pushed our Gay Mike down the aisle…this was sad times. Gay Mike was a Mormon. His name was Elder Scrolls. FLOOR SHOW DAMNIT! NOTHING interesting happened, except during Brad’s floorshow. It started, and Animal blared over it with the song “With Arms Wide Open” by Creed, and they strapped Fish to Cross and then hung him upside down. Nobody walked out. So that’s a start. And that was the show basically. Lots of sacriliciousness going on.