Gwen's Corner

Frank- Star
Janet- Eris
Brad- Amy
Riff- Glenn
Magenta- Angie [speaking]
Columbia- Madame Leah
Dr.Scott- Daniel
Rocky- Sean
Eddie- Preston
The Criminologist- Charles

Transies: Katie, Isaac, Nathan, Bizah, Manda, Greg, Cody, Wes, Josh, JJ, Halo, Limey, Shannon, Mike

And so it began. In the beginning, Animal devastated an entire group for virgin games. They are henceforth known as the cherry-less emo birthday party. You had to be there to understand how great it was. You weren’t there and you want to know, you say? Well. Maybe you'll consider going to the next show.

I don’t recall anything else notable until the show started, and even so, I can’t promise any juicy gossip that happened DURING the show.

I didn’t notice anything remarkable during opening dance, but then again, I was lined up with everyone else, so if anything funny happened, I would have missed it. Then the wedding. They get married every fucking week. If Ralph and Betty really feel the need to keep renewing their vows, they should probably seek marriage counseling.

All I noticed for "Dammit Janet" was the audience, seeing as im staring straight ahead. There was one part where I noticed Brad [Amy] draw on the door with chalk. You know, the door of the church that I had just meticulously cleaned? Asshole. So I wiped away the imaginary chalk. Nothing else of note I saw until car scene, where myself and Madame Leah [Columbia, if you didn’t read the lineup] got to sit on the aforementioned emo virgins to be windshield wipers. All I noticed here was a loss of balance and a cramp in my leg. Again I say, go to the show more. You may have a cast member sit on you. MAYBE it will be Animal, maybe it won’t. It’s kind of like Russian roulette. You either win a really great prize [go life!], or you suffer a horrible death. What was I saying? Oh yes, then was Time Warp. We lured them perfectly, now we shall rub on Brad and Janet and dance for them. Suffer the horrible pain of our dancing! It wasn’t actually bad from what I noticed. Transies time warped the hell out of it, and it looked awesome. During Sweet T. Frank strutted his.. her.. its... ass all over the place, so me and Riff [Glenn] just stood there and let him have his little moment in the sun. We'll get you yet. Just you wait o.O.... After Sweet T was naked time for Brad and Janet. I had some problems getting Brads pants off. [I think he stuffs his crotch.] Elevator goes up, lab appears, transies reappear... Speaking of transies I distinctly recall one of them yelling something to the effect of "oh no bitch did not" and I was concerned for them. Then Rocky was made into soup and fried into a person. I guess I'm just horrible at getting people's clothes off, but those wraps are never ending and I almost didn’t get them off in time for him to run in horror of Frank. Frank isn’t THAT bad. Why do you always run? Then he got tired and eventually came back to the tank after he sang his song. Then Eddie [Preston] came out of the meat freezer [is that like a new version of coming out of the closet.. for zombies?] and made Columbia’s boobs fall out a little during the lift. And there was much rejoicing. And den I scrubbed the lights off the floor [sigh, one day i'll win] and Riff tried to stick the candelabra up Rocky's ass AGAIN. I swear, he's got some weird fetishes. Then there was elbow sex. Oh yes... by the way... Janet and Frank did something heterosexual, then Brad and Frank got it on because Frank felt dirty for touching a girl. Then was Tank scene. Animal viciously attacked Janet [Eris] in the tank, and she shrieked her horrific shriek, but to no avail. It was so amusing that lesbian scene was cancelled so we could get front row seats for the terror in the tank. Then Frank was mad about Riff letting Rocky go, Then he was even angrier when he saw that Rocky, too, had heterosexual tendencies. Then we all ate dinner. More violence... chasing... then people got stoned [GO TO THE SHOW!] and there was a handicapped Doctor [Daniel] that me and Riff had elbow sex over. ha! AND then Floorshow. To be honest, I missed most of this because I was getting dressed for the mutiny at the end. Frank dropped some acid and started seeing people love him. Annnnd... murder, death, escape, and of course, Crimmie [Charles] had no pants.

In conclusion,

GO TO THE SHOW!