Gwen's Corner

I'm writing this from my point of view as a performer in the show. Sometimes I'm back stage and I don't see whats going on out there on stage. So, I'm going to give you the play by play of what I do and see. Come on, you know you wonder what happens back there where you can't see us.

Line up
Dr. Frank-n-Furter- English
Janet- Eris
Brad- Danny
Riff- Glenn
Magenta- JJ
Columbia- Star
Dr.Scott- Mike
Rocky- Fred
Eddie- Charles
The Criminologist- Shannon
Transies- Amy, Limey, Bizah, Saturn, Daniel, Tommy, Justin, Cody, Halo, Squid, Emily, Fish, Manda, and Mark
Tech, Props, and Security- Sean, Randal, Mike, Issac, Robert, Charles, Fred, Preston, Jenn, Limey, and Madame Leah
Floor Walkers- Animal, Starman Matt, Minion, and Preston

Fun Preshow
We had a great audience! So excited and hyped up. While everyone was fighting for their right to Paaaaaartaaaay, I was in the bathroom taking down Eris' pincurls. Sucess! We created curls where there were none. They even stayed curly almost all the way through dammit Janet.

Virgin games got ineresting. I hadn't been the safety air bags for "poo into you" for a long time. The little shit I was "protecting" lost on purpose and took a flying nose dive right into the abyss between my hooters. Some dude did this to Madame Leah once and he managed to stamp the V from his forehead on one of her boobs.

Announcements
All upcoming events were announced with much difficulty on Madame Leah's part. She was thwarted at every sentence with a barrage of mischif. Everything from butt crack poking to dirty shadow puppets. She finally was exhausted and gave up. I don't want to say she was asking for it but, when you wear a skirt that could be mistaken for a belt......Well, thats just a Bastard Bullseye. Fish provided the garment of attention. Applause!

Opening Dance
Oops, not yet. First the trailer to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Beginning. Gunnery Sergeant R.Lee Ermy is in this one. OORAHH! GUNNY!

Wedding Scene
I am backstage giving my props a triple check making sure none of my costumes or the gong have fallen off the hooks. I wait for stage left to go dark.

Dammit Janet
Glenn and I go out to stand as a human representation of the painting American Gothic. Farming husband and wife, he has a pitchfork. You know the one. I pretend to wipe down the speaker which is standing in for a church railing repeating "Janet" after all of Brad's "et" syllables. Brad draws a chalk heart on the church door/jukebox and Riff and I wipe it off and head inside the church/ center stage. Why does Brad have chalk in his pocket anyways? What the crap? I guess he just goes around writing on churches like the photographer goes around putting out cigarettes on church signs.

Anyways, flowers are fun to spin. Especially when you get rough with them and manhandle them like I did to our resident dwarf, Satan.

Glenn and Star decided to lift my boobs instead of lifting the imaginary coffin as we move across the stage to be blinded by spot lights. I guess temporary blindness is worth the audience remembering our faces.

Theres a Light
Star and I go crouch down in the second row center seats. This is the part of the show I dread the most. Any Maggie or Columbia in our show will tell you the same. We have to act as human windshield wipers. I'll tell you that it isn't so bad at first but by the time Brad stops the car and starts backing it up, you are really starting to feel the burn. If you are wearing a solid steel boned corset like me its worse because its hard to bend at the hip and move an extended leg back and forth.

Glenn gets a chance to grope me in public now. Star and I become the castle window to frame Glenn for his solo. He retreats into the darkness with one hand on my boob and I have no idea where his other hand is. Remind me to smack him later.

Time Warp
I make my way back stage dodging actors and their costume pieces. The trees turn into transies as they file in backstage and arrange themselves in line for Time Warp. The cue from Riff "I think you both better come inside". I assign each transie either screen or audience alternating. We used to stand in a single line but nowadays we have more transies than we have room on stage. So, the solution was to stagger them.

I follow the last transie out and take my place at the end of the tank/stair banister. Face hidden, feather duster in hand, I wait for my cue from Janet "Lucky Him". "We're all lucky!" and we start the Time Warp. Creeping out Brad and Janet is lots of fun. I managed to unzip Danny's pants in the process. Tee Hee, aint I a stinker. I slid my ass up and own his leg like a stripper pole later in the song too. I'm sure he wasn't too incovienienced.

Sweet Transvestite
Enter Frank. I stand with Glenn waiting for English to strut down the isle, I look as uninterested and pissy as possible. We stand there until Frank goes and sits on the throne/coffin clock/castle door/red wall/beds/preshow stage/storage closet. Its not a true Bastard show without the Block 'o' Death. At this time I climb up behind the throne and hol it up so it doesn't break off when Frank holds on to it when he leans back and fiddles with Riff's hair.

Creation
Brad and Janet are still soaked to the bone. So, we have to strip them down to their skivies. Here I go messing with Danny again. He was a good boy and made sure the shirt was only buttoned every other button and previously explained the clasp on the front of his pants. Disrobing Danny went well without any hang ups or difficulties. I then hurry them along across the stage into the elevator area. Standing there until we magicly are on another floor that is entirely pink. I stand there some more until Brad and Janet take a look around and then I go stand behind them until Frank calls for Columbia and I to go assist Riff Raff. We walk over to Riff because he needs so much help moving the mic stand out of the corner. On goes the lab apron; don't want get any rainbow colored synthetic amniotic fluid on our costumes now. I wonder if that is the secret to life itself. Must be. It worked for Frank.

Rocky turned out to be Canadian this time thanks to Wierd Al.

Sword of Damocles
I stand behind the tank until Sean jumps down and its a mad dash to unravel the wraps. I take this as a personal challenge. Its always a crap shoot as to whether or not the wraps will be removed from the arms and legs in time for Rocky to start spinning to unwrap the torso. Star and I got the wraps off just in time and we shared a high five of triumph over the wraps.

Make You A Man
Maggie doesn't do much during this scene. I'm just standing behind the tank with Riff with a bored look of disintrest and irritation. The story of Maggie's life as a servant. Bored, irritated, bitchy.

Hot Patootie
More standing behind the tank. Glenn and I move out from behind it and over to stage left and dance in our own little world for a while during Eddie's second sax solo until Frank bursts our bubble to retrieve his pick ax. He's so emotional.

Frank and Rocky's Nuptuals
Eddie is dead and Frank's attention is back on Rocky. Theres more standing around. Maggie does a lot of standing around. Hell, she only has four lines total. Riff and I make the motions of pulling a cord. We are opening the drapes to the bridal suite.

Janet's Seduction
I am backstage during this scene but this week I decided to sneek a peek. Animal snuck up on Eris and suprised her. We all know what happens when Eris is suprised all of a sudden. She shrieks, this time it was right in English's ear. I'm sure he is still experiencing some ringing. Ouch.

Rocky's Escape
I have to quickly get out on stage with my mop as soon as the stage is lit again from Janet's red bedroom sceen. Its a quick transition. Frank and Janet have to jump off the box and hide behind it while I run out and start mopping. Riff comes out after me and suggests a fun romp of fucking with the new guy. Little to the knowledge of Sean, Glenn and Robert are about to tag team him. How devious. Sean was expecting a candelabra up the pucker. Not Robert humping him from behind and a face full of Glenn wiener.

Brad's Seduction
After some hot steamy elbow sex with Riff I hurry back stage and strip off my apron, hair doily, and dress. My lesbian scene costume is worn under the dress. Did I mention that it is sweltering hot on stage and back stage? Its almost unbearable. I learned the hard way to hydrate all week in preperation for Saturday's show. All of us are dripping sweat as early as the preshow.

I move out from back stage twards the end of the blue bedroom scene with brad. Usually I'll hide crouched down between the block and the front seats until its time to hop up on the block for lesbian scene.

Toucha Toucha/ Lesbian Scene
Star and I have a lot of fun with this scene. We keep it cute without getting too nasty. She pretends to paint my fingernails while I pretend to dry my hair for a while. We get more and more frisky. I did turn her over and give her a spanking this time. This is for all of those times when I was a pomell horse and she was Frank in my early bastard days. Her smack on the ass has a nice sting to it. I personaly recomend it if you get the chance.

The Inruder Is Entering The Building
Hmm.... That sounds dirty. I am back stage again. Time for the true test of any Magenta. I get the gong ready in my left hand and the mallet in my right. Its easy to hit the gong in sync with the movie. Just listen for the cue "I made you, and I can break you just as easily." Count 1, 2, 3, 4 BANG! It works every time.

Dinner Scene
Interesting happenings this week. Glenn and I come out to serve up gobbles the turkey. Gobbles does a very good impression of Eddie's ass, I mean rump roast. I like the dinner scene because I get to go out into the audience and give them candy. Well, some of them I make beg me. The smart asses I trow the candy at them usually beaning them pretty hard. I was feeling very dominant this week. In fact, when I got back to the dinner table. I bent English over the table and proded him with the turkey slicer. Glenn joined in as I held his feet. So disturbing, yet one just can't look away. Like a train wreck.

Glenn loves this scene most of all. He gets to yell at me to shut up and get away with it. Or does he.....?

Wise up Janet Weiss
Back stage once more, last time I promise. "1, 2, 3, 4 Next time use the fucking door." I run out on 1. Its time to freeze these cheeky futhermuckers into plaster. With a bouncing hip and a pull of the lever I freeze every one of those trouble makers. Including the cripple. Its cool though. I've got goodies for him later.

Red Wall
Frank is wondering whether or not he made some miscalculations in his recent attempt at brain surgery. I get fed up and stomp over to him in an angry fit. "I grow veary of zis vorld! Vhen shall we return to Transylvania Huh?!" My all time favorite line in the entire show. Usually I scare English shitless with this but this time I didn't. I got peeved at this and I smacked his wiener. He deserved it.

Glenn led me over to Mike so we could have some hot nasty elbow sex over him. I put my boobs in hs face and I could see him turn a bit green. That was just a taste of what I had for him later. Evilness thy name is JJ.

Floorshow
This is a nice break from the heat of the theater. After I gave Mike a little JJ jiggle, Glenn and I run up the isle and into the area outside the the theater doors. Its nice and cool out here. Its also the first chance to get a drink of water. We change into the space suits and await the end of Frank's solo. Applause, Applause, and Oopsie! Is that a laser pointed at me? Frank, realises suddenly. March mister! We're in charge now. You are so gonna die now. So, Riff shoots Frank and has an emo moment. "They didn't like me! They never liked me!"

Awww. Dr. Scott tries to console him. I think Mike needs some more boobs in his face. Oh, you don't like that Mike? How about a lap dance and a writhing female humping orgy surrounding you? You are so lucky you didn't smother in there. Breasts can kill. I'll bet he thought he had died and went straight to a firey womanly Hell.

Now I get nostagic and its time for my solo. The joke with maggie in this scene is that she is holding Riff's wiener and dragging him along. I just grabbed Glenn for real and drug him along. That'll learn him. As we say back where I come from.

"And our vorld, will do the time warp again! " *evil laughing* Run up the isle and change over out of my costume. I thought I would be slick and try to take off my corset, get my jeans on, put on a bra, pull on a shirt, and make it down to the front in time for Starmann to call my name. I was wrong. I missed it and came running down the isle and across the stage trying to wrestle myself into my t shirt. Lesson learned.

Post Show
Mad dash to clean up the theater. Even though all of us are dead tired, we know the faster we clean up and meticulously account for every single costume piece and prop, the faster we get out of there and on with cast meeting. The faster we get to cast meeting, the sooner we get to go home and rest.

Thank you for reading my show report. Its not as long as the 12 page saga I wrote on the April 1st show. For that, I'm sure you are truly thankful. Ok that is all. Until next time. Double bag and tag in accordance with Navy and Marine Corps standards.