Gwen's Corner

Come one, come all. I have a surprise for you! I, Amy have brought to you: THE SHOW REPORT FROM THIS PAST WEEK'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!!! (August 19th, 2006) >>insert applause The crowd stands in ovation waving their hands wildly and holding out small booklets and pens with gleaming hope in their brainwashed eyes. You are a god to them and your signiture will sell for tons on ebay. **This is the MOST ORIGINAL SHOW REPORT I CAN COME UP WITH. All you OOOOOLD school folks will get it, although I'm not so sure about the people less than 25. So just bare with me, insert the tape and hit play on your VCR. (NOTE: This will be from "your" point of view which means BRAD's) Here is the line-up that was: Frank - Star Brad - Mike Janet - Katie Riff - Starman Maggie - Angie Eddie - Shannon Columbia - Amy Rocky - Fred Dr. Scott - SATURN Crimmie - Eris Transies - Bizah, JJ, Cristy, Jenn, Halo, Squid, Greg, Emily, Nathan, and Satan Floorwalkers - DJ Animal, English, and Marc >>play ........................................................................... It was a sunny afternoon in a graveyard when you and Janet got engaged to be married. You've decided to go visit your ex-tutor Dr. Scott and went there via car drive. The road leads to a dead end, forcing you to back up over something that pops your tire. You both get out realizing there is no spare tire and decide to walk to the closest thing you passed on the road which happened to be a castle. There is a sign hanging crooked on a fence bordering the castle which says "Enter at your own risk." >>enter Darkness. It is raining outside. >>look around You look around and see trees everywhere. Janet gets smacked in the face by one of them. They seem to be following her, although they stop when she turns around. Suddenly, a flash of lightening brings the castle into view and you see someone in one of the castle windows. A butler perhaps? You and Janet hold each other and come closer to the castle wondering if inside they have a phone. The door is in front of you and you notice a doorbell. >>ring doorbell The door creaks and slowly opens revealing the man in the window. How did he get downstairs so fast? He notices you are both drenched from the rain and invites you in with a slightly devious grin. >>enter castle You walk in through the doorway and see odd things. Janet seems frightened so you comfort her. The door slams and the butler comes in from behind you leading the way. Some drunk woman appears on the stairs and the Time Warp begins. You get chased into what seems to be a party. Janet seems so suprised she faints. The song ends. >>exit You start to back out of the room when you hear a strange moan from behind. Janet looks, screams and faints. You turn to look and see a skinny Canadian with too much make-up on named Frank. Frank walks down into the room you just left and reveals that he wears ladies underwear and wears it well. He starts to come back up and pushes you back into the room. >>ask if he has a phone Frank seems to ignore your question and instead offers that you can stay the night. He tells his servants to undress you and to bring you up to the laboratory. He seems very excited about something he experimented on and mentioned something about a creation being born. You begin to get bored with the waiting and suddenly, a song bursts out of nowhere and everyone, including yourself starts to dance and sing uncontrollably. Then a light above a rainbow colored tank begins to glow brighter and brighter, almost blinding. A walking giant tampon stands up and crawls out of the rainbow water tank and starts singing. Soon you realise it is brushing past you running from Frank. Soon he comes back with Frank hanging around its shoulders asking you and Janet what you think of him. >>say "I don't like men with too many muscles" Frank seems to get enraged and soon cheers up again when he shows the creation named "Rocky" some weights. Soon a loud beeping sound comes from the wall as a large freezer door opens letting a frozen man on a motorcycle out. He starts dancing with Columbia and chases the party people out of and around the room. When he comes back, Frank chases him with an axe back into the freezer where he chops him into tiny Eddie-ble bits. Frank chooses to show his monster a good first night alive and uses him for just what he built him for. Frank invites you and Janet to stay the night. >>stay the night During the night you and Janet both get delightfully ravaged by Frank's forbidden fruit although Janet found the creature Rocky shortly after her encounter with Frank. Also, Dr. Scott decides to make a visit to you instead. Janet is discovered in the arms of the creature by everyone at once in the same room. Frank gets pissed and threatens Rocky when they're suddenly interrupted by the maid hitting a very loud GONG, announcing that dinner has been prepared and it was time to eat. >>have Eddie for dinner Now that's an odd request, isn't it? But fair, nonetheless. Around the dinner table, thin slices of Eddie were slung and consumed. Then Columbia gets annoyed that her frozen boyfriend was thawed, baked, seasoned and served and leaves the room. Frank reveals the dead body under the table and everyone runs around the castle in a panic. Then Brad, Janet and Dr. Scott get stuck to the floor and turned one by one into naked statues. Frank goes around dressing you in similar clothing as Janet, Columbia, and Rocky and forced to dance under Frank's spell. >>shake your groove thing You do your little turn on the catwalk and wait for a chance to jump into the pool to play with other people's privates. Frank gets a foot in the crotch and starts singing again. Everyone gets out and dances some more when suddenly the doors in the back of the theatre blow open revealing what was once the maid and butler, changed somehow. They announce that they're aliens and are rebelling against the troublsome life that Frank leads. From across the room Columbia screams and gets shot by an anti-matter ray gun in the butler's hand. Shortly after, Frank and Rocky also get shot. The aliens also announce that they are taking the house with them to another planet and that it might be a good time to leave. >>roll out the cripple You all get smooshed by the castle when it takes off, leaving you all in a cloud of smoke and dirt. The castle sails off into the sky and is never seen or heard from again. The End >Press ENTER to continue or ESC to end game >>escape ........................................................................... Well, I hope you had fun reading this one time only in this style show report. Now time for some announcements! DRAG SHOW: SEPT. 9TH AT MIDNIGHT! THINK YOU'VE SEEN ALL OUR GIRLS DRESS LIKE GUYS? WELL GUESS AGAIN FOR THIS ONCE YEARLY ALL SEXUAL ROLE REVERSAL!!! Be there or stay at home and unclog the hair from your drain. Your choice!