Gwen's Corner

What can be said about the Tied to a Bastard Show... My God that was a clusterfuck! 
This was one of the more amusing shows that I have witnessed in a long time.

The concept... Audience buys raffle tickets for a chance to be physically TIED to a 
Bastard for an entire show. That means they go everywhere (including costume changes) 
and do everything that their Bastard does.

I'm gonna state right up front that... OMG.. those guys that got to go with Madame 
Leah when she changed into her floor show corset??  LUCKY!!! Ok.. On with the report 
starting with the line-up.. as always.


Frank- English
Brad- Mike
Janet- Limey
Riff- Minion
Maggie- Bizah
Eddie- Preston
Columbia- Madame Leah
Rocky- Fred
Dr. Scott- Daniel
Crimmie- Shannon
Tech and Security - Sean, Chewy(AKA Mr. Pizat), Glenn (ended up being Robert...huh), 
Preston, Glenn, Danny
Transies- Manda, Saturn, Greg, Halo, Angie, Squid, Star and Nathan

Floorwalkers- Animal, Starman and Preston

In the beginning... there was music.. and loud music it was. Very loud. I'm actually 
surprised that management didn't come over and request it be lowered. Pre-show went pretty 
much as usual.. except for the drawing of the names. Poor, poor, unsuspecting audience.. 
They had no idea what they were about to be put through. heeheehee!

There ended up being a lot of Bastards tied to Bastards and audience tied to Bastards and 
Bastards tied to audience who were tied to Bastards and audience tied to Bastards who were 
tied to Bastards... I think you're getting the idea here... Lots of rope and ties strung all
 over the stage and tangled messes whch cause a lot more fun than anyone would have 
anticipated. One member of our audience, who I believe over the last 3 weeks had dropped 
about $60 on tickets, ended up being tied to 3 people. This was Argo. Argo had a good time 
I think.. He certainly got his exercise for the day being dragged all over the place for 90 
minutes. Madame Leah told me to list EVERY screw up but I'm here to tell you right now.. I 
can't. I can assure you that I did not actually witness them all and most of the screw ups 
were directly related to the ropes and ties that snaked and wound around everyone on that 
stage.

One side note... Animal drew Shannon's name... I have a feeling Shannon will be killing Beau
 next week, because she did NOT buy any tickets for ANYONE... let alone Animal.

The entire show had two to three times as many people as usual up on the stage..most of 
whom did not know what they were doing but I tell you something... a lot of the audience 
members who ended up there did a pretty good job faking it. I was impressed by that. In 
fact.. they did pretty good faking their way through the whole show.

I'm just going to list high points...  
The whining a cussing that ensued when Animal drew Shannon's name...

The towing around of Dr. Scott, who ended up tied to who knows who...

The lift... Madame Leah's legs got tangled up in ropes and the lift did not happen quite 
the way it usually does.

Minion towing his charge around and actually coaching her into doing the parts correctly...
 That was kinda scary... the doublemint twin version of the sonic oscillator thingie...

Limey got dragged to the wrong side of stage and Mike ended up doing the Dammit Janet 
dance with Danny (who, of course, was tied to him)

ANIMAL... he was WARNING Shannon before he took off running down aisles... WTF? It was 
almost like he was trying to be nice...

English made Argo go up for the Frank floor show solo SOLO... You know the part where Animal
always attacks English???  It was good times... for English anyways. Not so sure about Argo.

By the end of the show.. there were even more people tied to Bastards cause everyone was 
switching off and pulling even more people out of the audience to come up and play.. 


All in all it was a great time. Highly entertaining and full of laughing and such. Guess 
what!? We are doing this again in 2 weeks. That's right. On July 15 all the tickets that 
were NOT drawn this week will be put back in their bags and we will draw for Tied To A 
Bastard Part Deaux. More tickets can be bought in the time before that too if you want to 
increase your chances of being pulled around for a night. No Bastards will have their names 
in the bags this time.. it'll be 100% audience. Fun times! If you want a ticket, wave down 
a Bastard!

REMEMBER!! Saturday July 8  The PIRATE SHOW!!! Okay.. this is as good as it gets.. Go look 
at pictures.  Oh and I apologize for the small amount of pictures.. my camera ran low on 
batteries and I had to pick and choose shots last week.. and then the damned card filled 
up... It was quite aggravating...