Gwen's Corner

FRANK Saturn
JANET Halo
BRAD Eric
RIFF Shannon
MAGENTA JJ
COLUMBIA Amy
DR. SCOTT Mike (Hitler)
ROCKY Wes
EDDIE Preston
CRIMMIE Eris

TRANSIES Katie, Mary, Josh, Twitch, Squid, Tora, JJ, Sara Beth and Casey

TECH, SOUND PROPS & SECURITY Glenn, Robert, David, Paul, Charles, Marc and Daniel

FLOORWALKERS Starman, Wolf, Glenn, Marc, Charles and Daniel

What better way to describe a ghetto show than with a ghetto show report?

In truth, I don't have much to say besides this. Last night, I saw the Los Bastardos of what we will generously call my "youth" return. I don't think most of our current cast remembers or even knows of the dark days when we didn't have a regular theater. When our shows came once a month and whenever we could score a gig performing at a college or a charity function. We lost a lot of good people during that time. Got a lot of good people too.

But through all of that time of change, one thing remained constant; I could always count on the people around me to give their all for The Show. If our props were missing, our equipment broken and I had to step in to play Brad because every other man on the cast was needed to run tech, I could always count on the cast to pull together and make magic out of whatever crap was handed to them.

This is not to say that the cast since that time hasn't been great. They have been. But like old soldiers who remembers their days living in a foxhole and nearly starving to death fondly, even though they were scared shitless and worried sick all of that time before, there is a certain level of camaradirie between those of us who were on cast during that time. And I'll admit, competent as they are, I never really thought our current crew might have what it takes to keep The Show going at all cost, come what may.

Yes, I thought that. Until last night.

We were, thanks to the Murphy's Law of moving that requires that all the most essential things be in the last box you can get to, forced to run last night without our usual sound sytem or lighting controls. But with hours to go before the show, the team rallied. Daniel was able to put together a patchwork sound system with a speaker, a boombox and a mike. The old ghetto light controls were found. Marc made a mad Paul Revere drive to get all the equipment to the theater in time as everyone else rushed to get everything else - wires and all - ready so that the equipment could be plugged-and-played once it was here.

It was far from a perfect show. The two female virgins refused to play their game. My own voice gave out about halfway through. And I saw a half-row of people leave when Mike came out as Dr. Scott with a Hitler moustache. And because we were so late getting started, we only had ten minutes to clean the theater and get out before getting kicked out.

But that's just fine. We had one of the biggest crowds that I can remember since The Pirate Show. I saw a bunch of virgins who really seemed to enjoy themselves. And I discovered that the "Bastards Never Say Die!" spirit is alive and well in the hearts and souls of our cast even now.

Wow. This didn't turn out nearly as ghetto as I thought it would. Go Team Venture!