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The Inwood Theatre
MIDNIGHT

Dec 27th


The Texas Theatre
10PM

Jan 30


Gwen's Corner

Show report for Saturday March 18th

Guest appearance by the Queerios!

Report by Madame Leah

Here we go, Queerios show report...wrote another one
and hated it.  Read on...

I am so hurt, you just don't know.  I sent the damned
Show Report two weeks ago, but since my computer is
GAY and apparently HATES ME, it decided to do
something stupid and not send it through...or
something.  This report is for the Queer Bastards
show, premiered on March 18, 2006.  Here lies the
lineup...dun dun DUN....

Frank- Kevin
Brad- Fred
Janet-Katie
Riff- Minion
Maggie- Boobi (Bobbi)
Eddie- Preston
Columbia- Raini
Rocky- English
Dr. Scott- Ian
Crimmie- Shannon

Transies - Limey, JJ, Amy, Bizah, Cory, Marc, Ammanda,
Jennifer, Cristy, Pob, Squiddy, Emily, Greg, and Mike.
 

Techies - Sean, Deanna, Danny, Preston, Jason, James,
Robert, and Danny.

Floorwalkers- Starman, Animal, and Melissa.  

Well, I will tell you that this is going to be an
abbrevated report for the singluar reason that it took
me about 3 fucking hours to write the last one and
since it didn't go through it made me CRY INSIDE and I
am NOT going to spend that long on another one.  I am
sure that you guys will deal, right?  I mean, you know
most of the people that are up there, and all of their
awesomeness.  This show was also an especially
grueling one for my beloved Techies.  They are people
that you do not see so much of, but are well loved by
Madame Leah because they are the heart of the show. 
If anything happens, Techs are the ones that get to
fix it.  After a hellacious time with the Tech
equipment at All-Con, the Techies pulled another
miracle out of the air for this show because we didn't
have any time to get the lightboard fixed that day. 
It was awesome and they are so my heroes and they
should be your heroes also.  Love them, preen them,
lick their faces and worship them, for without my
glorious Techs there would be no LB.  There.  I have
said my piece about the Techies.  More later I am sure
but for now that will suffice.  

Now, onto the show.  I don't really remember a lot
about Pre-Show other than it happened and we were all
confused because Animal was too retarded to remember
the speech.  4 years on this cast and he STILL hasn't
learned it.  *sigh*  What a retard.  Anyway.  Onto the
show...

Enter Opening Dance, and Leah standing in as Columbia
because Raini had too many other things to do at that
point.  (lol.)  Brad and Janet made their way to the
church for the proposal and off to the Castle in the
Night to see Dr. Frankie.  Fred and Katie are fun to
watch as Brad and Janet because they are so emotive. 
Bounce bounce bounce is all you see from those two the
whole show.  Hee hee, I love it.  Most of this was
pretty standard stuff.  I felt sorry for Jennifer, who
had the unfortunate trauma of Animal's tongue in her
ear for the entire duration of There's a Light.  I was
sad for her.  She held it together, though, as always.
 I think that she should get a medal for that or
something.  

Yea, anyway.  So in door scene, we meet our little
hottie Minion as Riffiness.  He is always fun to play
with, we love him because he is so cute and bitter
(but sweet and fluffy in the middle like a
marshmallow, don't let him fool you!!).  And on to
Time Warp, and my ARMY OF TRANSIES!!!!  They were so
loud and screaming, it was awesome.  It made me happy
in my pants.  If the stage was bigger there would be
MORE but there is no room, so alas, until there is we
shall deal.  Enter BOOBIE (Boobi, Bobbi) as Magenta. 
She was voted Best Maggie on the Queerios cast this
year.  All of her greatness and Boobies showed this
night, I can tell you.  Boobi is one of my bestest
friends, so don't talk shit or I will PIECE YOU!  (lol
- that's an inside joke, if you don't know you can ask
me about it laters...).  She was a little afraid to
twirl around on the stage and afraid that she would
fall, but she did just fine.  And Raini made it to the
jukebox on time, and had NO problems getting off (ha
ha) of it to dance for us.  Raini is getting married
next month to SHAWN McHORSE - he is another fucking
awesome Queerio who hosts our site among others.  He
has been an Honorary Bastard for some years now. 
Anyway, Raini has also been 'round a while, and she
did the sequins on her Columbia corset BY HAND, so
that certainly deserves some Kudos in itself.  She is
awesome stuff, and so cute.  :)  Tee hee, I am so
happy that she and Shawn are getting married - they
are such cool people.  So yes.  Time Warp, and yelling
and dancing, and falling down as good casts should.  

Enter our Frankie for the night, a Queerio loved by
all the girls (ha ha, and English and Minion too). 
His name is KEVIN and he is also the shiz-nittle.  We
love him because he looks good in makeup and although
he has only played Frank a handful of times, he is
fucking awesome.  His hair is currently bright pink
and that makes me happy in my pants also.  And he's
really tall.  So he strutted around in his boots, and
then messed with Brad and Janet, and then said they
should stay for tea.  And then there was undressing,
and the elevator, and the speech, and baby English was
born...with pigtails.  He is hot too.  I don't think I
really know anyone (male or female) that wouldn't fuck
English.  Well.  Except maybe Starman Matt.  And Beau.
 No, no, wait.  Just Starman Matt.  So yea.  That
pretty much sums that up.  Anytime English is up there
people cream their pants.  And this show we had
English AND Minion AND Kevin.  It was awesome.  I
touched myself.  

ANYWAY, they make Rocky a man, and PRESTON comes out
to do is thing and woo our Raini-Columbia.  They did
their little dance, made a little love, and chased the
Transies.  And then he dies.  Which is sad, because
Preston is greatness.  His milkshake is better than
mine, better than mine, better than mine.  But he died
anyway.  And then Frank lets out Rocky's weiner, and
then they made out to make up, and it was hot.  And
bedroom scenes were fun because you could actually SEE
stuff - hee hee Brad and Frank's was fuuuuuuunny.  And
Rocky gets poked in the middle, and Janet gets
Toucha-toucha-touched a lot more than she wanted to. 
And then enter Dr. Scott as IAN, who immediately ran
into the wall a-la old school like Daniel (for those
of you who remember the Superman days - hee hee
hee!!!).  Ian is so funny, I really wish you guys
could have seen it.  And they all didn't laugh but
looked like they wanted to.  And then there was
dinner.  

And dinner was restful before the running of Janet -
Katie even lost Kevin for a minute and it was
reeeeeeally funny.  Good moves, Katiekins, good moves.
 But he catches her, and then they are frozen, and
Maggie and her huge juggies get jiggly, and then the
Floorshow comes up.  Hee hee, I said comes.  

And all was well until we notice that Katie is about
to have a coniption fit because her corset isn't on,
but we are ok with that because then we see boobies! 
And poor Kevin had some trouble with the red corset. 
It was a little difficult for him to - er - fit into,
so he wore it as a skirt instead.  Nevermind that he
was a little late for his cue...the my Spotlight techs
are just trained really well, that's all.  LOL!  And
Animal decided that this would be a great opportunity
to bite at his weiner (poor Kevin).  And he didn't
just NIP at it, oh no.  Animal grabbed with teeth and
took Kevin DOWN.  I was told that he didn't let go
until Kevin kicked at him.  That was so wrong.  (Yea,
but still really funny - sorry Kev!)  And the rest of
the floorshow seemed to go well, save Ian falling out
of his chair a number of times.  It is a wonder that
kid isn't dead, as much as he appears to hurt himself.
 But it was good.  

And Riff and Maggie bust in all pissy-like, and Frank
tries to explain but then they kill him anyway, and
then Riff kills Rocky for the hell of it, and banish
Brad, Janet, and Dr. Scott to the outside world.  And
although we can't always get what we want, Crimmie
tries to explain that the world sucks and we are all
stupid.  And then it is over.  

I love the Queerios.  I am happy whenever they come to
play with us.  You should check out their site at
www.queerios.org OR www.alltheclosefamily.com.  GOOD
TIMES.  Remember that we have a number of theme shows
coming up, watch the site, the programs, and your
favorite Bastard for details.  GO BASTARDS!!!

Throughout the entire duration of me writing this show
report, I just thought that all of you would love to
know that Animal is sitting in a chair beside me,
masturbating and trying to touch me.  Just thought
that all of you would appreciate that.  Ta-ta!  

SEE YA NEXT WEEK, MY ROCKY SLUTS!!!

LOVE~

Madame Leah  :)

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