Gwen's Corner

This is Chris, aka Mr. Saturn, filling in for the show report for the 
All-Con show as a representative of the Poor Jewish Dude & Friends group. 
We're regulars, and we've been at the show every week for a couple of months now. 
Before that, we came every six months or so, so we're not in anyway new to this.

Bass is awesome (and, by bass, I mean the low end of the sound spectrum, and 
not the delicious fish, though, depending on your personal opinion, that may 
also be awesome). However, nothing is good in overabundance. This, unfortunately, 
is the first thing I think when I try to remember the Friday night All-Con show. 
Why, you might ask, would I recall the deep pounding bass emanating from the very 
walls around us? Well, if you're asking this, it's a clear indication that you weren't 
at the All-Con show. For some reason, the All-Con people felt it'd be important 
to turn up the bass SO HIGH that we couldn't hear a) lyrics of songs, b) words spoken 
by characters, or c) any lines shouted by any member of the cast or audience unless they 
were within five feet of your face.

The evening began with standing in the Sterling Hotel upstairs lobby, waiting 
desperately for the show to begin. It was a bit of a wait, due to some showing 
of some completely unimportant thing keeping the cast out of the auditorium where 
the show would be held. Fortunately, we were distracted for a little while by a 
friendly Klingon who tried to teach us how to say "Fuck the Rules" in Klingon (and, 
no, I don't remember what it is. If you know of some online Klingon dictionary where you 
can look it up, well, you can enjoy that by yourself). That didn't occupy us for 
very long, so we forced some cast members to come and pay attention to us (and 
whatever other audience members had arrived). The cast held a basic shouting contest 
where we rooted for either Shannon or English. We started by diligently defending 
Shannon, who's apparently never won one of these such shouting contests before, 
only to break ranks, join English's fight, and then 
back to Shannon in time to win. [Editor's Note]Jerks. *sniffles* But that's
okay. I forgive them. They came back to me and that's all that matters. I'm cooler
than the English one anyways. :-D[/end Editor's note]

The show started with an hour long pre-show. First, we had some AMVs, including a 
Batman one, a Pokémon one, and some others that I couldn't really see. It didn't 
matter too much, because, due to the aforementioned bass system, I couldn't hear what the 
songs were, nor could I have noticed what any jokes were that correlated with 
the videos. That's alright, though, because we very quickly moved on to some songs to 
build enthusiasm amongst the crowd, including an amazing rendition of "Hey, Mickey" by 
the ladies of the cast (BTW, ladies, we're perfectly fine if you wanna start 
doing that every week. No, really, every week).

The show occurred on Donna's birthday, so the cast danced to "I Think I'm Turning 
Japanese" for the occasion. We didn't want her to be too lonely, so we sent our Jew 
up there after her. She needed a Jew. Hell, I'm in favor of throwing him up there every 
week. The more opportunities I'm given, the more you're going to see a giant 
awkward Jew on stage.

Once the show started, we realized that there was a problem: with the bass as high 
as it was, we were wasting our breath trying to shout lines along with the movie. 
However, for the first time in a long time, we actually did hear the movie. That's 
never anything that I actually _care_ to hear, though. If I wanted to hear 
the movie, I'd listen to the annoying little voices in my head that try to recite it 
in its entirety thrice daily. I don't want to listen to that voice, though, which is
 why me and DayQuil are such great friends. But I digress…

We quickly toned down our voices to reserve some energy for the following night, 
almost speaking the lines to ourselves, since few others could hear them, anyway. 
As the movie went on, we noticed some people behind us. One of them we didn't recognize, 
but the other was a member of Queerios, the Austin Rocky cast, who'd 
joined our lovable Bastards for a show a month or so ago. The other, though (who we 
learned the following night was Ian from Queerios), was sitting directly behind me. I 
give him some props for having some good lines (some I hadn't heard before), 
but he has a bit of a speech impediment, and it was driving my friend crazy. He spent 
the rest of the movie making fun of the speech impediment.

During the "Sword of Damacles" toilet-paper scene, I did my normal "why won't you 
people keep throwing fucking toilet paper, for the love of FUCKING GOD" bit when no 
one else in the cast would throw toilet paper. However, it seems that someone went a 
little overboard, because some toilet paper got caught in the chandelier.

After the show, there was a party held by lady Leah and the cast in the hotel. We 
headed up as soon as the party was open, but the room was… a little crowded. It seemed 
to be about 50 or so people in a room that could barely hold 15, so we sat out in the hallway 
and bs'd with the cast. We volunteered/were volunteered to go get food 
for people, so we headed off to Whataburger. While we were out, apparently some police 
officer came to break up the party, which made getting food to people a little harder 
than previously imagined. After food was properly distributed, we sat down with Shannon 
and Starman in the lobby, where Shannon came up with the idea that we should write the 
show report for the All-Con show. Despite my tendency to procrastinate, I foolishly took up 
that offer. Now, just over a week later, I bothered to type something out. It's pretty sad, 
but it'll have to do, for now. If someone reminds me of something else that 
happened that night, I'm more than happy to transcribe it. Until then, this is what you get.