Gwen's Corner

Frank - English
Janet - Katie
Brad - Fred
Riff - Glenn (on his last hurrah)
Magenta - JJ
Columbia - Madame Leah
Dr. Scott - Mike
Rocky - Star
Eddie - Chicago Mike (our friend down from Chicago)
The Criminologist - Cristy
Transies - Bizah, Limey, Shannon, Cory, Marc, Ammanda, Jennifer, POB, 
Melissa, Amy, Calamari, Emily, and Greg
Tech Gods - Sean, Deanna, James, Jason, Preston, Danny, and Charles
Floorwalkers - Animal, Minion, and Preston
(If you aren't in here you weren't in the program so it's not my fault)

Hello one and all! Melissa the Mardi Gras Pixie here. I'm assuming if 
you're reading this report to see what happened, you didn't make it out 
this week. YOU MISSED OUT! This week was our Mardi Gras show. Bastard 
Gras! We sold out. Lots of beads and lots people earning their beads.
Pre-show was quite fun. We had lights and loud music and everything while 
beads were being distributed. 


Virgin games were extremely fun. We had 
one nice boy in a lovely dress and a friend of Poor Jewish Dude and 
Friends (who are awesome by the way). Because the dress caused "Start 
Your Engines" to be a bit difficult, we had the Jewish Dude de-pant 
and Dress Dude start the engine. Good sports both of them. And then 
came the awesome part. The ladies did the Bra Race, but with an 
awesome Bastard Gras twist. It was a Topless Bra Race. Yay! The two 
lovely ladies were great sports. It went by much quicker than usual 
without those pesky shirts in the way. They both had to chase the 
Mexican to get their bras back. They managed to sandwich and tackle 
him and got their bras back.


Now, on to the show! Opening dance had the stupendous Star holding her 
sign. For the dance, she was a black woman from N'Awlins. One side beseeched 
for someone to "Hep Me" and the other, flipped and shown halfway through 
the dance, declared "George Bush Hates My People." Much laughter and 
applause followed. Then the lips were crucified and on to Ralph and Betty's 
wedding. We had a man-bride this time, but this is a regular who comes in 
drag, so it was appropriate. In "Dammit Janet" Brad, dressed in fun bright 
pink and orange fur, proposed to a Jester Janet (but who was watching 
really as there were still lots of bead-earning going on in the audience). 
They drove and broke down and find a castle and try to ask to use a phone. 
Riff was dressed in all black with a bit of white on the pockets. He looked 
like Zorro. This was Glenn's last show and he was superb, as always (tee 
hee I saw him discretely grab Frank's ass during Sweet T). 


On to Time Warp! Usually, everyone go out to the aisles, but since the theater 
was so super full, as many people as could squeezed into the aisles but there 
wasn't quite enough room for everyone so some had to do the Time Warp in 
front of their seats. Our lovely Maggie was dressed brightly in pink as 
a clown (awesome costume as always JJ). Green-haired Columbia was annoyed 
by our Annoying Clown Transie Amy when she started to tap dance and then 
tripped. You know, you'd think by now, Columbia would realize that there's 
a bump in the carpet since she trips over it every week. Then Frank made 
his entrance. Frank was prepared for the breaking of the levees and the 
resultant flood waters in his handy dandy life jacket. He thought it looked 
like rain so had his umbrella open and at the ready, which was aided by the 
spritzer bottle he carried around. Then it was time to come up to the lab. 
When Brad and Janet were stripped down, Janet was clad in a lovely gold 
negligee. Too bad it had to be covered in that silly lab coat. But 
fortunately you could still see the goods (and what goods they are) most 
of the time. Then came Creation Scene. 


Animal graced us with a remix of that old seminal 80s techno song that we 
could dance to so we could be amused during the Scene That Never Ends. 
Then out came Rocky. And when I mean came out, I mean a Good Ol Drunk 
Mardi Gras Girl Gone Wild Rocky. Riff nicely exposed the assets, but for 
the rest of the time the goods were censored, but Rocky still earned lots 
and lots of beads. Then came Rocky's revenge. 


Every week, Animal or someone else has taken to lying down where Rocky is 
doing push ups. This week, Greg (the new dude with the super awesome 
long hair) was the pummel horse, so defended Rocky by attacking the would-
be attacker/ "blow job" receiver. He never knew what hit him!  Then out 
came frozen Eddie. Despite lots of trying, he was unable free Columbia of 
the confines of her top, but she lost he lovely green wig. Then Frank 
killed Eddie. Poor Eddie. Frank gave Maggie the seemingly ever-present 
rubber penis instead of his bloody gloves. Which was a source a amusement 
for Riff for the rest of the scene. Preston and James had their amusement 
during Toucha. Poor Katie and Star (give them much love for their heroics 
for willingly submitting themselves to that inevitable scene). Our Frat
Boy Starman videoed the whole thing. 


Then FEMA FINALLY showed up. Dr Scott was our FEMA rep, so just as did the 
real thing he came in near the end and crippled. The rain Frank was predicting 
finally came apparently and so did the flood waters (or maybe the levees just 
broke), as he and Rocky rowed across the stage to a lovely round of Row Row Row 
Your Boat. 


And now, on to Floor Show (we decided against the picnic, as per usual). Be sure to 
check out the pics for this week if you haven't already because the costumes 
were great! Madame Leah kept her pre-show promised and showed us the goods. 
Mucho yayness! Then poor Frank was attacked by a very enthusiastic regular 
that Animal brought up on stage for that purpose. Then Frank's parents show 
up and ruin the Mardi Gras fun. Animal got some extra laughs by replacing 
the usual Michael Jackson line with a great Dick Cheney line. And Frank for 
the first time in the entire show went UP on something. Silly Transvestite. 
Brad, Janet, and Dr Scott are told to leave the house (which may or may not 
have had a phone) while they're still time and sing about what they've 
learned (that Brad's ass is bleeding and that Janet is a member of the cast 
of Cats). We see the point of the movie and all celebrate the end of a very 
fun and very bead-y Mardi Gras show.


And don't forget, we have a very special show at All-Con in Dallas on St Paddy's 
Day (that's Friday the 17th). A full hour long pre-show for Animal to get his 
jollies in and a Bastard-hosted After Party, complete with alcohol (ah, sweet 
ambrosia!) for those of appropriate age. Y'all come back, ya hear!